Prelude to Kylo Ren
by SubtleLux
Summary: A brief look into the life of Ben Solo before he became Kylo Ren
1. Chapter 1

The day was grey and it for that reason alone it was perfect, as it completely matched his mood. He had been awake for some time now, long before the sun had started to rise over the trees and buildings in the distance. Ben had watched it rising with a sinking feeling that had kept growing until the morning light was shining warmly through his bedroom window.

He turned away angrily and started to dress. There was no more time to sit and contemplate his fate. He chose the plainest of his clothes to wear for his trip, all of them nondescript grey and brown that kind of blended together. He had already packed the night before and the small rucksack lay at the entrance to his room. It was actually quite small, but there was not much that he needed to take. Just a few clothes, no books, or any other kinds of trinkets that might bring back some kind of nostalgia or sentimentality.

With an angry huff he finished dressing and picked up his bag, he didn't look back at his room, it was a mess but he could not bring himself to care. In the house it was quiet and serene. He knew immediately that no one was home expect for himself. His mother was probably seeing to the transport even as he slept, and his father could be anywhere. A pang of guilt hit him but he brushed it aside as he picked up a piece of fruit from the kitchen table, eating it without tasting it. His father didn't even have an idea that his only son was about to be shipped off to another planet, to be taught in the ways of the force. It was a desperate attempt on his mother's part to stop the spread of what she thought was a bad influence on him. His sudden fascination with both his late grandfather and with the politician Snoke had driven his mother almost mad with worry.

It was her own political and military dealings with Snoke that had exposed Ben to him, and in the older man Ben had found a confidante. In some ways he was closer to him then he had ever been to his own parents. Between his mother being away and his father off doing who even knew what, Ben had started spending much of his time alone. He was rarely around children his own age, and the ones he was around avoided him for his aloofness or fear of his grandfather's crimes. It left him alone with his thoughts.

He finished his fruit and adjusted his pack, prepared to start his walk to the transport hub, when he heard a steady knock at the door. His stomach dropped, there was only one person that it could actually be. He could feel the presence on the other side of the door. It was something he was getting good at actually, sensing when someone was near. He could even sense the moods of his mother and all her subordinates before he ever entered a room. It was exciting for him, but intimidating all at once. It was like discovering a new and hidden world.

The knocking persisted at the door and Ben couldn't ignore it, nor would there be any chance of the person leaving, so he marched over and opened the door. On the other side was Poe, his hand poised to knock again but he stopped and smiled when he saw Ben. "Hey! Sorry I kept knocking, I thought that maybe you were still asleep." He stepped backward to let Ben out on the front step. Ben didn't acknowledge the greeting but stepped outside and closed the door behind him. "I see that my mother sent you to get me?" He stated in what he hoped was an emotionless voice. Poe nodded and turned so the other boy could follow him. It irritated him for some reason. Poe was actually only two years older than Ben, but there personalities were so different. Even their talents. When he was even just one year younger he had envied Poe so much that it caused an ache inside him, one that Snoke had sensed and only encouraged, until it blossomed into a full blown hatred. Even at such a young age he was an accomplished pilot, both his mother and father praised him, while completely forgetting their own son in the background. Perhaps if Ben was as good a pilot as Poe..but no, he would think like that. His father wouldn't have been there for him even if he was the best pilot in the galaxy. Nothing that Ben did ever seemed to keep his father's attention for long.

He cleared his throat to get Poe's attention. "I don't even know why she sent you, I know my way to the ships. It's not like I will get lost." He sounded like a whiny child and he mentally berated himself for it, it was better to keep talking to a minimum with Poe. Or preferably none at all.

Poe shrugged without turning around. "I guess she just wanted a friend to come and get you, since we might not see each other for a long time." Poe said in a cheerful voice. It was enough to make Ben almost laugh, in what far off universe would Poe and he ever be friends? His mother really was blind if she thought he cared about Poe in any way.

For a few minutes they walked in silence which made Ben hope that Poe would not say anything else for the entire trip but he was wrong. Poe fell in beside him and looked at Ben with a curious expression. "So are you really going to train with your uncle Luke to become a jedi?" He asked in a hushed and excited tone.

Ben's head snapped up and he gave Poe a penetrating stare. He didn't know that his mother was telling everyone about this. Why tell everyone else and not her own husband? To him his own mother's motives were unfathomable. "Yes," he said slowly, not really wanting to start any kind of conversation. "I am being sent to Skywalker to train in the ways of the jedi." He said in affirmation.

Poe started to grin, "Why do you call him Skywalker instead of Uncle? That's so strange, if he was my uncle they would never get me away from his side." He added with an even wider grin.

 _Well then you can be his nephew then, you can go and become a jedi and see how much fun you have._ Ben though with a grimace. He didn't dare say it out loud. Being too vocal was the whole reason he was being sent away. To make him better, to make him _see the light_ so to speak. But deep down Ben knew that he was one meant for something far greater.

After that brief conversation they arrived at the transport hub, and Ben and Poe were surrounded by dozens if not hundreds of people going about their daily duties. It was loud and hot, and people scurried every which way to refuel or load supplies. There was shouting as things were dropped and orders were shouted. It was a commotion that he was very familiar with, and for the first time he felt a wave of unease. _I don't want to go_ he thought to himself. But he had no choice. His destiny was in the hands of others. But soon it would be his own to dictate and command. He longed for that day.

His mother, Leia, was very easy to spot. She was smaller than him, even now he towered over her, but she commanded a far bigger presence. She was both a princess and a general. Part of him hoped that one day he could lead with as much ease as his mother, he supposed she got it from her father; or even her own mother who was also a princess but very rarely mentioned. His lineage was interesting to say the least.

Ben stopped and collected himself and put on what he hoped was an air of indifference, which was shattered somewhat when Poe have him a large clap on the back. It broke his concentration and he glared at the older boy. Poe laughed when he saw his expression.

"Stop looking so serious all the time, it's just your mother and she won't see you again for a long time. So be nicer." Poe clapped him on the back again for emphasis and stepped aside.

Ben almost said something scathing to Poe but was interrupted again when his mother gave him a hug. The top of her head was only to his chin at 15 years old, being this much taller than her was awkward. He hugged her back out of habit and stayed that way till she finally pulled away.

"Look at this boy, almost a man. It's hard to believe that you are my son." Leia clasped his cheeks in between her hands and looked at him gently. At that moment she looked so sad and sincere he almost forgot himself and pulled her into another hug.

"I am just getting taller that's all," he said softly and looked down. The attention was making him break his composure. It was making him want to stay, and making him weak. He could not abide by his own weakness. Compassion to his was a weakness.

Leia still had her hands on his face and brought his face closer to hers, he knew she was going to kiss his forehead. He bent down to let her, he didn't know why he did. She planted a kiss on his forehead and then released his face. He stepped backwards looking down. He was embarrassed.

His mother placed her hand over his heart, "Are you nervous about going to train with your uncle?" she asked quietly so no one else could hear.

"Of course not," he said with more force than he intended. "It's a great honor to train with a Skywalker." He sifted his pack on his back uncomfortably as he spoke, he wanted to take it off but there was no point. He would just have to be uncomfortable.

She gave him a look like she didn't believe him. "I'm sending you there because I believe that is what's for the best. Especially after what you have been showing _interest_ in." She said with emphasis.

Ben gave a smirk and shot back at her, "If what you are doing is what's best for me and for you, why didn't you tell dad? He wouldn't approve of this and you know it." Leia looked hurt and averted her eyes as he spoke. He grinned inwardly knowing that he had hit a nerve.

"You're right, your father wouldn't approve of this at all. He'd never even really believed in this kind of thing. And we both agreed before you were born that we wouldn't train you in the ways of the force. We were too afraid of..," she trailed off as she looked him in the face. _You becoming like your grandfather._

She did not speak it but he heard it in his own mind. And she was right of course, there was too much of his grandfather in him. He was a persistent ghost that haunted him ever since he was born.

"If doesn't matter if you told him anyway," he said even though it actually did matter. But he was suddenly tired and didn't want to talk to her anymore. It was better to get this over with.

Leia sighed and took his arm. He didn't resist and together they walked to the small transport ship that was ready and waiting for him. Other supplies and people were going with him, each with their won own reason and purpose when they reached their destination. And his was to be pawned off on his uncle in an attempt to stave off the darkness that his own parents saw in him.

Once more Ben looked at his mother. He felt a wave of emotions run over him. He didn't even know what they were as he looked at his mother. She in turn looked at him sadly before giving him one last hug goodbye.

"There is good in you Ben, I know you have a good heart, remember you are always my son." She said softly as she let him go and turned away. Leia stepped off the transport ship and gave him a small wave, even Poe waved goodbye.

Ben gave a small halfhearted wave in return. He felt like he should say something, but he had no idea what, so he said nothing and disappeared into the ship to find a pace to sit for the journey.


	2. Chapter 2

The journey would take around six hours; that was all that Ben knew for sure. He wondered if there was a reason his mother had purposefully not mentioned the name of the planet. Of course there was he realized, in the off chance that he had further contact with Snoke she had kept his destination a secret. It was a smart move on her part. He made himself as comfortable in a corner of the ship and sat down. He did not intend to move for those six hours. He pulled a robe out of his bag and wrapped himself up tightly. If anyone had glanced his way they would have barely been able to see his face,

 _No one look at me, no one notice me. I'm not even here_. He thought it loudly in his head and hoped that it would be enough for it to come true. _One day I'll be able to make them do what I want_. Being able to control anthers mind or thoughts was a power the Force could imbue to a user. Snoke had told him of it in one of their many conversations. The thought of it had thrilled him. If he could do this he could be just as powerful as Darth Vader. Perhaps even more so. That alone was motivation enough.

But for now all he could do was sit glumly in the corner of the already crowded ship and try to not be noticed. He was not paid any attention to, it gave him some small hope that his silent mental pleas for anonymity were being answered. It was actually quite warm where he was. He felt himself drift off to sleep while wrapped in his robe. He didn't fight the feeling and let it take him.

When he woke up he was surprised to find that he was less than an hour from the destination. Ben stretched out his long legs and groaned from the feeling of his stiff limbs being moved around. He massaged his legs and cursed himself for falling asleep in a position like that. He could barely stand from having been cramped in such a terrible position. He walked around the ship getting feeling back into his legs. No one was looking at him which he was still happy about. Eventually he made his way back to his small corner and sat down. He packed his robe away and pulled out some dried rations which he was thankful he had the forethought to pack. In fact he should have packed more, what if his uncle didn't want to feed him right away? For all he knew he would be forced to find his own food in the wilderness like some savage.

He lost himself in thoughts about what he might be expected to do. What if he had to hunt too? He had no idea how to do that. Ruminating on all these fears was giving him a headache and a terrible temper. At this rate he'd probably end up punching his uncle instead of greeting him.

The landing itself was completely uneventful. Ben stayed back from the others as they landed, and they all began busying themselves with gathering their belongings or loading cargo onto carriers for an easier transport. He made his way to the front as quietly as possible so he would be the first one out the bay doors. He didn't know if his uncle would be there to greet him or if there would be someone else waiting for him. If it wasn't his uncle he had no idea what to do, he supposed he could stand to the side of the ship and look lost until some helpful Jedi or padawan realized who he was. It didn't sound like the most entertaining way to spend his time.

As soon as the doors were fully open he bounded out of the ship, his long legs carrying him several yards from the ship before he stopped to look around. He raised his arms over his head, stretching and letting his muscles loosen, and took in his surroundings. It was similar to what he had feared but not nearly as bad, it could be described as delightfully rustic. To say that the small airport was small and archaic would be doing it a justice. But he had been in smaller ports, and even larger ones like Coruscant; where the entire planet was a city and the constant movement and noise was overwhelming. It had always amazed him that no ships were constantly crashing into each other on the planet.

This planet did have a certain character to it. In fact if he concentrated hard enough he felt a kind of peace creep into his mind. It took him a moment to realize that it was the Force, and a strong connection to the light side that permeated everything around him. In the same way that people were more drawn to the light, it happened sometimes that paces and planets were more attuned to the light side. He found it unnerving, and the part of him that started to reach out to the light was quickly squashed. He shuddered. Ben looked up at the sky and scowled as if the planet was somehow at fault for upsetting him. At least it answered a question that had lingered in his mind about why his uncle would choose such a faraway place to train. Being in a place already attuned to the Force would certainly speed training along.

Speaking of his uncle, he didn't even know that he was here yet. He looked around and scanned the place. No one looked like his uncle, or even a Jedi for that matter. He felt worry creep into his heart. What if he had been forgotten? Perhaps his uncle had already written him off as a bad seed even before he had arrived on the planet. It upset him more than he cared to admit.

Suddenly he felt a shifting behind him, as if he could sense movement in the air and the way it parted before the appearance of _someone_. He turned in time to see a man approach him wearing simple grey robes. Even before he moved the cowl from his face he knew it was his uncle. He could sense it yards away. His uncle was powerful, more than he even realized, and the realization stunned him into stillness as all he could do was gape as he approached. He had never felt this when they had last met years ago, as he had not even begun to learn about the Force.

Luke dropped the cowl from his face and smiled warmly. Ben could feel the happiness radiating from his uncle at seeing him, and the knowledge of it made him both embarrassed and secretly pleased. He shouldn't feel any kinship from this man, the murderer of Darth Vader, but it was there none the less. It was tangible and impossible to ignore.

"Uncle, it's good to see you," Ben said as he slowly dropped his eyes from his uncles smiling face. He was still so terrible at concealing his emotions. It was easy to see what he was thinking or feeling just be looking into his eyes. _Perhaps I will wear a mask one day_ he thought, _anything to hide this weak face_.

If Luke had any idea about what he was thinking he did not show it in the slightest. Instead he pulled his nephew into a very tight hug. It surprised the boy enough that he did not protest, even though he was taller than his uncle. He was taller than everyone in his family which made hugging awkward. He returned the hug then pulled away at the same time as his Uncle.

Luke gripped his shoulders in a friendly fashion and smiled at his nephew's glum face. "I have not seen you in years, I had no idea you got so tall. You look just like a younger version of your father." Luke commented as he released his nephews shoulder.

The comment made Ben both sad and upset. "I don't think that I look like him," he said petulantly. He did sound like a child at the moment but he could not help himself.

Luke laughed and nodded. "Well you do have your mother's eyes as well." He said before turning to the side and gesturing to two people that trailed behind him, that Ben had failed to notice till now. Both were garbed in the simple robes of padawans; and they pulled back the cowls of their robes as the smiled in greeting towards Ben.

Ben nodded in greeting. Seeing the other Padawans made him nervous and self-conscious and he fought the urge to look away from them.

"These are my two eldest padawans from the academy." He pointed to the nearest boy to him, a tall and very dark skinned young man with solid features. "This is Hilab Relou, he is just a year older than you are." The boy nodded in greeting again.

"And this one is Cavan Jark, he is the same age as you," Luke said gesturing to the second boy. This one was the same height as Ben, which was rare since they were both so young. But already he had a serious and handsome face that Ben disliked immediately. He reminded him of Poe too much

"It is good to meet you all." He stammered. Internally he berated himself. He already sounded like an idiot in front of everyone. Someone with such a powerful grandfather should have conducted himself with more authority.

Luke started ushering the boys and Ben back the way they had come, the boys replaced their cowls and walked in front while Luke fell into place beside him. "I am happy that your mother has consented to let me train you Ben. I've known since you were born that you were strong in the force, but your parents' wishes were that you do not train as a Jedi. Until now of course."

Ben nodded curtly, not looking his Uncle in the face as he spoke. "My mother thinks that it is best for me. I have no idea what my father would say in the matter." He sounded bitter as he mentioned his father.

Luke frowned as Ben spoke and a faint shadow crossed his face but it was quickly gone. Now he just looked thoughtful at the information. "I know that your father trusts your mothers judgment. She had her reasons for doing what she did" Luke said carefully.

Ben snorted, "I think that my father trusts his own judgment more than anyone's, anyone else's reasons won't matter to him once he has made up his mind." He said as he finally looked at his uncle.

Luke chuckled at that and even Ben felt himself smile. "You're father has a very strong will as well," Luke admitted. Ben couldn't remember the last time that he had smiled, and it felt strange to feel his lips curve into a smile. It filled him with a kind of lightness that he had thought was successfully gone. It was just a lesson to him that he had to stay constantly vigilant, he must not let weakness like that into his mind. With an effort he stilled his features into his familiar frown.

The padawans leading the way stopped at a transport vehicle that was old and clunky, it was chipped and dented in a few places but appeared sturdy. At least he hoped it was. It was made to hold more than the four occupants so there was a lot of room, but the back of the transport was filled with boxes and sacks; what appeared to be goods and food stuffs.

Cavan saw Ben eyeing the boxes and pointed to them. "We were here earlier gathering supplies for the academy. We only come here once a month so it was a good time to stock up on the things that we needed." The boys' voice was deeper than he expected but he nodded in acknowledgement, hoping that he wouldn't try to engage in a conversation.

Luckily Cavan said nothing more, and Hilab seemed to be the silent one of the group which was fine by Ben, and they all clambered into the vehicle. Luke manned the control panel as the boys settled themselves in the back. Despite the size of the vehicle the supplies made things a bit tight. Ben found himself sandwiched in the middle of Cavan and Hilab. Things were already off to a bad start. He didn't like touching people unless he had too, and now he was in between two strangers for who knew how long. It soured his mood and he stared glumly out the transport windows.

"The academy is about an hour from here," Luke said from the front as if reading his nephews mind. Ben suppressed a groan as the vehicle levitated a few feet into the air and began its journey.


	3. Chapter 3

The trip was uncomfortable and confined. He had such little wiggle room between the other boys that he finally stopped trying and just accepted his fate. The sun on this alien planet was already high in the sky, high noon, and he started to sweat which added to his dismay. It didn't help anything that Cavan and Hilab started a conversation with him. Cavan was the much more talkative one, with Hilab being much more of a listener. He kept his answers as short and uninteresting as possible to try and dissuade other conversation, but unfortunately for Ben the other boys did not pick up on his hints. It made for a very long trip.

When the large and looming Jedi temple appeared in the distance it was a welcome relief for Ben, even if it was another fifteen minutes before the vehicle finally stopped at the foot of the temple. He would have jumped out of the vehicle immediately but he was still stuck between Cavan and Hilab. When Cavan finally moved, Ben practically leaped from the vehicle with a tiny groan of joy. It even brought a smile to his face, one that he didn't try to hide.

He stretched his long arms and legs and took in the scenery and the large and imposing stone structure. It must have been abandoned for a considerable amount of time before his uncle saw fit to make the place habitable again. It was old, and impressive, and very much in need of repair. But even as he stared at the stone structure he could see small movement on the surface. He squinted and looked again, it was the movement of robots making small repairs on the building. Still, with the size of the thing it would take years before they were done.

Behind him he heard the sounds of the other boys opening up the back of the transport vehicle. He turned and looked back at them as they started to unload. Luke had gone to join them at the rear of the vehicle. He motioned to Ben and he came to him reluctantly. He had a feeling he knew what his uncle wanted.

"I want you to help Hilab and Cavan bring these to the supply room. I need to attend to some things, but I will see you later tonight." He gave Ben a nod as he turned to walk off. He hadn't waited for Ben to respond, there was no need to as Ben could not refuse his request. He watched his uncle walk off into the temple with a purpose, his robes flowing around him.

Ben turned and bent down to pick up a box. It was heavier than he expected and he tried not to let the other boys realize it was too much for him. However, Hilab noticed he was straining and motioned to a cart that Ben hadn't noticed before. "You can put it on there," he said in a deep baritone voice.

He took the few steps and set down the box on the cart, actually grateful that it was there. If he had to carry all these boxes individually he'd be exhausted before the end of the day. And he didn't want to look weak in front of anyone. Despite the number of boxes, between the three boys it didn't take long for them to load up the cart. However, they all three had to push the cart to get it too move. Hilab himself was much stronger than Ben had guessed. Once they got the momentum of the cart going he pushed it almost on his own. It gave Ben a chance to rest his arm muscles which had turned rubbery after the physical exertion.

Once at the supply building they unloaded everything and arranged the containers according to their contents and use. It was mind numbingly boring, he felt his mind drift away as he stared at each monotonous beige box and sack. Even then they were not done as Cavan started to write down the inventory and keeping stock of the new arrivals. Ben suppressed a groan and kept his face as neutral as possible. It was taking a lot longer than he had first estimated, but neither boy seemed to be in a hurry. He was starving and was determined to resist the urge to ask when they would eat next. Eventually Cavan was done with the minutia of the supply inventory, and Hilab had been leaning against the side of the building staring off into the distance.

Ben turned to look and see what was so fascinating off in the distance. He had to shield his eyes from the setting sun to see clearly. At least the day was ending which put him in a slightly better mood. As he squinted he could make out perhaps a dozen shapes, he quickly surmised who they were and what they were doing in the distance. They had to be the other Padawans from the academy, and they all appeared to be sparing with one another. He could tell that many were human, but there were other species as well. He thought he even spotted a Wookie but he couldn't be sure.

He was staring so intently at the figures that he didn't notice when Cavan came up right beside him. "Have you ever done sparing before Ben?" Cavan asked cheerfully.

Ben had not heard the boy approach and when he spoke next to his ear he actually gave a small jump. He had to resist an urge to punch the other boy in the face. But now was not the place or time for things like that, instead he cast his eyes downward so Cavan could not see the sudden hatred in his eyes.

"I've never trained with a light saber before. But my father taught me to use a blaster when I was younger." He said calmly. Mentioning his father was making him feel strange. No matter how hard he tried to forget him, Han still crept back into his thoughts at the most mundane of moments.

Cavan shrugged and wiped his hands on his shirt, rubbing off the dust from the supply room. "It doesn't matter, no one has ever trained in a light saber before they came here. We are all learning." He smiled at Ben and the glum boy just nodded at the other.

Meanwhile Hilab started to walk towards the other padawans and Cavan turned to trail after him. Ben followed them, but he kept his eyes trained on the others as they kept getting closer. He had never seen anyone use a light saber before, and he would not deny that he was entirely enraptured with watching. They were graceful and fluid in their movements. Even the youngest of them seemed to possess a skill that he wouldn't have believed possible in ones so small.

He could not deny to himself that he was intimidated by all of this. It was a lot to take in, and he was faced now with how incompetent and useless he was. It was not a new feeling to him. But it was one that he was very tired of feeling. Ben shook his head trying to clear his thoughts. Despite what he thought of Jedi or even his uncle, he could learn things here that would help him in the future. He had to keep an open mind so to speak. He would take what he needed and leave the rest behind. Useless things like Jedi ideologies and family ties.

As all three boys walked closer to the padawans a few of them noticed their approach. A few stopped and waved, and the others took notice and stopped in their sparing. There were only a dozen of them but seeing all of their attention turn to him made him self-conscious. The children, despite being young, all busied themselves with putting away their equipment while the few older ones came to greet the trio.

Cavan and Hilab greeted everyone and introduced Ben to the students. All of them looked Ben over like he was some kind of new and exciting specimen. He could tell that they all knew his families past by how wide their eyes went when he was introduced, while the younger ones didn't seem to know that he was different from every other force user that came to train. He could always tell when someone was uncomfortable with his families past; it was in the way they kept their distance and also how they looked him over. It was like being trapped in a zoo. They thought he was dangerous. They were right. The thought gave him the briefest of smiles but he stilled his features as he gave a half-hearted greeting to the academy students.

The introductions were blessedly brief and he didn't even attempt to learn anyone's name while they introduced themselves. Even with a dozen students at the academy he would be able to memorize everyone's name, but he couldn't bring himself to even want to try. Everyone was much more focused on the next thing on their agenda, which was thankfully dinner.

The thought of food was enough to distract himself from the leers of the other teens and children. At least he could fill his stomach and perhaps rest soon after. He followed the others as they made their way to another small building that looked like it had been added on to the main temple. He trailed off after the others, staying off to the side as they all chatted and joked with one another. He lost sight of Hilab and Cavan which he was thankful for. He wanted to be alone with his thoughts for the first time that day.

The small building that they all piled into was indeed a very simple mass hall. There were two long rows of tables and chairs arranged in the center with a makeshift kitchen occupying the entire left side of the building. The right side was covered in widows that gave them a nice view of the temple and surrounding forest. Everything was very open and there was a surprisingly warm feeling to the place, one of happiness and comradery.

The food was served cafeteria style and Ben had to grab a plate and tray along with everyone else. He was purposefully last in line. It gave him time to look at everyone as they piled their plates with food and joined their fellows at one of the tables. He could tell who friends were and who were not; just from them sitting together, and how even now smaller cliques were formed. All of the older students instinctively grouped together at one table while the younger ones took the other table.

Ben took his food and sat down at the table with the older students. Besides his best attempts he would be seated next to Cavan again. There were no other seats and he wasn't about to sit at the younger table were the kids would gawk at him. At least Cavan had already learned everything about him, everything that he cared to tell, on the ride to the temple so he might have a chance to eat in peace.

The idea was sound in theory, but in practice as soon as he sat down everyone near him started to engage him in conversation. He didn't even try to hide his gloomy attitude at this point but still no one took the hint.

"Are you really the son of Han Solo and Leia?" a girl across from him asked in a hushed and excited tone. She looked to be perhaps 12, and she still had a lot of enthusiasm that young girls seemed to possess in spades. She had her hair pulled back in a very tight bun and she had an olive complexion with hazel eyes, her clothes were the simple padawan robes of a Jedi apprentice.

Ben nodded slowly as he brought the fork to his lips. "I am, my name is Ben." He answered quickly as he bit down on the food. If his mouth was full then maybe no one would ask him obvious questions.

Surprisingly Cavan seemed to get the hint finally and turned to the girl. "You can ask him questions after he eats his dinner Thara, he had to travel from another planet and he's probably starving by now."

Thara, as it seemed her name was, looked thoroughly chastised and a little embarrassed. "I'm sorry, we just don't get new people very often here. Especially not ones that have famous parents." She cast her eyes down and her cheeks turned bright red. But he didn't care if she was embarrassed, at least she was not talking anymore.

 _I have a famous grandfather too_ , he thought silently to himself. But no one would ask him about that. They would talk about it amongst themselves of course, it was inevitable. But if they were like other children they would never have the guts to ask him anything to his face.

The dinner was over quickly enough. Ben ate slowly and chewed thoroughly. He didn't want anyone to know just how hungry he was. But at least the food was good and he finished at the same time as everyone else. Clean up seemed to be something that was delegated to half the students while the others filed out the door to go about their evening. Ben watched curiously not sure of he was supposed to help or if he was supposed to clean. He would have even asked Cavan, but the boy was already out the door before he could open his mouth.

The girl, Thara, saw him looking confused and her face lit up as she realized what he was thinking. "Only the young students have to clean today, tomorrow the older kids have to do it." She said it cheerfully as if it were some prize that awaited her instead of chores. She even eagerly took his plate and tray for him as she flounced off to the kitchen portion of the mess hall. Ben mentally groaned as he watched the girl wander off, then he turned and followed the last of the students out of the mess hall. He wasn't looking forward to the rest of the evening.


	4. Chapter 4

The first evening that Ben spent on the planet was uneventful, everything seemed to be slowing down now that the students had bellies full of food. He kept as quiet as possible and avoided the other students for the most part. Some still came up to him to introduce themselves and he stayed as cordial as possible while still maintaining his aloofness. As soon as the sun finally set and it became too dark to see, he wondered where he was supposed to sleep. Cavan approached Ben out of the darkness. He wasn't sure where the other boy had come from, as he had lost track of him after the evening meal. The handsome teen smiled at Ben, but he kept his eyes lowered and didn't meet his gaze.

"I know that you are exhausted by now. I'm supposed to show you your quarters anyway, we are all starting to bed down for the night." Cavan said as he stood closer to Ben so they could see each other in the moonlight. It was actually quite bright, this planet had three moons, all of which were at their fullest. It gave everything a kind of ghostly half-light that was surprisingly easy to see in once your eyes adjusted.

"I am a little tired," Ben admitted slowly. He was actually exhausted, and still hungry but he wasn't about to ask the boy if he had any secret ration stashes around. Ben had no intention of getting too familiar with anyone at this place if he could help it. If he got hungry enough later he would find his own food.

"Even I'm tired, and I didn't even travel from another planet today," Cavan chuckled. Ben just stared at him uncertain how to respond. He knew Cavan was trying to be social, but Ben really didn't feel like trying to start up a conversation. But if he didn't appear at least polite it might get back to his uncle. And he didn't need any extra scrutiny from anyone at the moment.

"Well, you did travel to the space port to get me. And those boxes that you lifted were pretty heavy." Ben said carefully. It was his best attempt at being communicative, he just wanted to sleep and rest before he awoke the next day.

"It wasn't that bad, starting tomorrow we are all doubling our training schedule. It was like a break just being told to lift boxes," Cavan said jovially. The teen boy was so up-beat it was a little sickening. Internally Ben screamed. He was relatively strong compared to boys his age, but he wondered if his body would be up to the physical challenge that was ahead of him _. I have to be ready_ he thought. _This is not time for weakness, for my mind or body_.

Ben gave a sickly smile as he tried to muster enthusiasm. "I'll look forward to that," he said in a voice that wouldn't convince even a deaf man. Out of the corner of his peripheral vision he saw someone approaching them. He turned to look to see who it was and mentally screamed again. It was the younger padawan, Thara, coming towards him seemingly full of bubbling energy. It was actually palpable.

Thara flounced up to the two boys but kept her eyes on Ben. "Is Cavan showing you to your room?" She asked giggling slightly. Ben glowered at her as best he could. But she was still too young to pick up on his subtle body cues and continued to giggle as she looked him in the face. Ben honestly had no idea why she was doing that, was she sick perhaps? She blushed at his direct gaze and looked away.

Cavan playfully tousled Tharas' hair which made the girl giggle more. She had taken her hair down from its' tight bun sometime after dinner. It was dark and fell far past her waist and shimmered in the light from the moons. He used his other hand and pointed to the temple behind him. "The older students actually have rooms in the temple itself. The younger students are the only ones that sleep in an outlying building."

Thara turned and looked where he was pointing, nodding as she spoke. "Getting to have a room in the temple is just a privilege that the older kids get. You can't move in there until you turn at 15." She said matter-of-factly.

Ben turned and stared at the imposing structure. It was large and intimidating, and it even had a vaguely calming feeling emanating from it that caused his heart to beat uncomfortably. He didn't know if he could rest comfortably in a place that seemed to have such a strong connection to the Light. But he did not have much of a choice. If he didn't want to sleep there his uncle might be suspicious, and if he asked to be housed else where it would seem strange. He would have to guard his thoughts while he was there.

Thara came up beside him and very gingerly took his hand. He was not used to being touched and he stared down at her kind of shocked. But he did not pull away. Thara glanced up at him, giggled and blushed, and gave his hand a gentle tug. She really was a strange girl.

"I can show you the room too. I don't get to give tours as often as Cavan, he gets to do it all the time when people come to visit. He is Master Lukes' favorite." She said non-chalantly.

That fact stung Ben for some reason, it gave his heart an un-nerving tug that he didn't like. So what if his uncle had a favorite student? He didn't expect to be anyone's favorite just because he was related to the only Jedi master here. But still that momentary sign of weakness gave him pause, and he looked at Thara and Cavan suddenly nervous.

Thara tugged on his hand again and Ben let himself be led to the temple. Cavan followed behind the two. As the temple loomed ahead of him he had the sudden urge to bolt and run. Coming here was a mistake he suddenly realized. He should have cut and run when his mother first told him that he was going to be trained by his uncle. This place would change him if he stayed here long enough. But the urge passed just as quickly as it came, and he was inside the old stone structure.

Inside it was remarkably sparse and nondescript. The walls were cold and barren, but the character of the place still permeated everything. It nagged at the corner of his mind and he had to work to keep it from creeping in. He shuddered involuntarily. Thara kept leading him along and the corridors echoed with the sounds of their passing. There were only one or two other older students around, and they nodded and smiled at Ben as he passed.

Ben's room was in the very center of the long hallway, on the very first floor of the temple itself. He looked from one end of the hallway to the other. If he tried to leave un-noticed it would be impossible. Even if no one saw him they could hear him from the way the whole place carried sound, even soft footsteps could be heard. He wondered if that that was the reason he was housed in the center of the building. If Luke couldn't keep an eye on him than everyone else would.

Thara finally released his hand and he let it drop to his side. He was glad that she had let go of him and he moved slightly away to dissuade her from grabbing him again. She pushed against the door and it opened easily, revealing a small and simple room. It really had only a small bed pushed against the wall and a chest that he assumed was to hold clothes and other personal items. The only other thing of note was a narrow window at the very end of the room. It did not have any glass in it and it seemed to be opened to the elements, which struck him as odd but he didn't choose to complain. Perhaps exposure to the elements was part of the Jedi training.

He walked in and sat down on the narrow bed, dropping his pack at the foot of the chest directly in front of him. Thara and Cavan stood outside the door frame and looked in at him. The other boy leaned against the door frame and looked in at him while Thara just looked at him with a happy expression.

"What do you think?" Cavan asked as he crossed his arms. He had just given the room a quick look over. Ben assumed that it was pretty much identical to the other rooms that the older students used. It would be sufficient accommodations for a boy who didn't have very many material possessions. But possessions were something the Jedi were not encouraged to have. That was something that he could agree with them on, material things just seemed to weight him down.

"It will do, I don't need much space anyway." He said as he started to undo the straps on his pack, and opening the small trunk to put everything away. He was glad that he had packed so little now. When he looked inside the chest he saw that there was already a set of robes waiting for him. He didn't need to inspect them to know that they were the traditional garb of a Jedi padawan.

He touched them lightly, feeling the fabric against his fingers. It made him feel strange to touch them, as if he were touching something that was taboo. But he would have to bare it, in the morning he would be expected to wear it every day until he could escape.

"Do you like them?" Thara asked curiously as she saw what he was doing. She giggled again as she spoke. Ben simply nodded in affirmation, a simple nod of the head was all he felt like mustering. He wanted both of them to leave him already.

Cavan clasped the younger girl on the shoulder and turned to her, "We should let him rest now, he needs to sleep before he starts his training tomorrow."

Thara nodded and looked sheepish, she looked back at Ben one last time. "But I will see you tomorrow right Ben?" She asked looking oddly hopeful for some reason.

Ben looked at them both and managed a very tiny smile that he hoped looked friendly. "Of course, I'll see you both tomorrow." He turned back to his pack and didn't bother to look up till he heard the door close behind him.

After that he finished his task and lay down in the small bed. He unceremoniously kicked off his shoes and stripped off his outer clothes, just leaving his undergarments on his body. He hadn't thought to bring anything to sleep in. But his underwear would do just fine. He curled up in the blankets and pulled them over his head. By the time his head hit the pillow he was already asleep.


	5. Chapter 5

The next morning the sun arose, and Ben arose with it, though his disposition would not be anywhere near as sunny. He awoke quickly enough with the sun shining through the small window. With no glass in the window frame he could hear animals scurrying and the wind rustling through the trees. The morning sun crept through his eyelids and he knew he couldn't pretend to be asleep any longer. Outside his room he could hear the small sounds of other students beginning to stir, preparing for the day just as the creatures outside were. He could hear the sounds of soft footsteps outside his door as he pushed himself up from the bed.

He stretched his arms above his head and heard his joints pop with the movement. He had slept deeply last night and he hadn't even had any dreams which was unusual for him. Usually he at least had nightmares to keep him company. Ben let out a deep sigh as he stood up and went to the clothes chest to pull out his new robes. There was no avoiding wearing them now. He tucked them under his arm and left the small room, securely closing the door behind him. Clad only in his modest shorts he didn't think to feel self-conscious. He had to find the wash room anyway and change.

Out in the hall there were only four other students his own age. All human and male except for one female that looked to be around 17 or 18. She was shorter than him with close cropped hair, and she gave him a very honest open glance as she looked him up and down. If he did not feel self-conscious before, he did now, he did not like being scrutinized He did not have much interaction with girls his own age, and none had ever seen him clothed in so little. A blush crept up his face and he looked down. Mentally he berated himself, and he only looked up when he was certain that the girl looked away.

Hilab and Cavan were there as well, walking down the hall next to each other engaged in a conversation. It appeared that the two boys had a room next to each other. They both walked up to him and greeted him, Hilab just nodded but Cavan clasped him on the back in a greeting.

"How was your first night in the temple?" He asked in all friendliness. He looked fresh and well rested, and just as handsome as he had appeared yesterday. Ben still felt a strong dislike of him but forced himself to be friendly.

"It was alright I guess. I was just really tired last night," he replied. Having conversations was something that he would have to get used to here. It was not like at home where he could stay silent and unobserved. Besides the fact that they were all students, living and training in the same space would mean he would always be around others. It was a little overwhelming.

Cavan continued to banter with him and Hilab as they finally found the washroom. _The boy seemed to love to hear his own voice_ , Ben thought to himself. The washroom was just a tiny door at the end of the hall, and if he had not been with the other boys he might not have found it at first. Yesterday when he had walked down the hall he had assumed it was a closet door. Hilab pushed it open to let the other students enter and let it close after everyone was through. Everyone said thanks to him as they passed, except for Ben, who kept looking straight ahead. It split off in two directions and Ben looked from one entrance to another wondering which one to follow.

Hilab finally spoke and pointed to the left hand entrance. "This is the side for the boys, the other is for the girls. But since Gita is the only girl our age she gets the other side to herself." His voice was a very deep baritone and matter of fact. And at least he now knew the name of the girl who had looked at him so directly.

Despite the fact that the facilities were inside a centuries old temple everything in it was modern. He supposed that it had been an addition to the place rather than something that they had repaired for use. Having hot water and working toilets was something he was silently grateful for. It made sense, there was probably no way they could get centuries old plumbing to function again. Unfortunately, the showers were communal he saw to his chagrin as he entered the long and narrow bath facilities. If he wanted to get clean he would have to do so in front of the other boys. It was almost enough to make him give up getting a shower all together. But he had to do it. He swallowed his own embarrassment and stripped down to nothing. He kept his eyes down and averted as he could sense the other boys stripping as well. He kept his eyes carefully trained downward through the whole shower even when the other boys tried to talk to him. Ben just ignored them, he didn't care what they thought or said anyway. Besides, showers were no place for conversations.

The shower was as fast as he could make it. He lathered the soap over his thin body with a startling swiftness. He didn't stay under the water for more than five minutes before he went looking for a towel to dry himself off. The other boys were taking their time and joking with one another. Their laughter and conversation sounded so easy and sincere. All it did for him was make him very aware of how he did not fit in with any of them. Putting on the robes as quickly as he could he left the washroom with his hair still wet and dripping down his cheeks. He brushed it back from his forehead but it was already trying to stick to his now clean skin.

Outside the weather was slightly humid and the sun was already hot, which just made him more acutely aware of how uncomfortable he was in his new clothes. It wasn't that the fabric was uncomfortable, it was soft and loose as it was a size too big. They were just strange. Now that he was standing in the sun he had no idea where he was supposed to go. It was still better than being naked around the other boys. Mentally he made a note to get to the showers earlier to avoid the awkwardness. Since it was morning he supposed that he should go to the mess hall and try to get some food. If he hurried then perhaps he could get there and eat before he ran into someone who wanted to talk.

The best course of action did seem to be getting food, so he started walking in that direction. He stopped suddenly as he sensed something behind him. It only took a second for him to remember that he had felt this sensation before, it was the same one from when he had met his uncle. Ben stopped and turned around, but all he saw was the temple behind him. Seconds passed, and his uncle appeared from the shadowed doorway.

The Jedi master had a very intense presence and Ben felt himself becoming intimidated. Instead of looking away he forced himself to meet his uncle's gaze as he came closer. Luke was smiling and had a jovial look on his face. It seemed that Ben was just the person that he had been looking for.

Luke stopped in front of the boy and smiled warmly. It made him feel strange to be greeted so warmly by another person. But part of him was also secretly relishing the attention. Luke nodded at Ben before speaking, "We are beginning our training today. You will be with me for the whole day, as well as into the next. Do you feel like you are up to it?"

Ben thought for a moment. He didn't think that his own opinions or feelings on the matter carried much weight. If anyone had cared what he wanted he wouldn't even have come here.

"I'm ready for the training master Luke," he answered. The sooner that they started the sooner that they could finish. He could play along for as long as he needed too. Soon his true master would come for him. Until then he did not need to raise any alarms.

"We are going out into the forest today, I have everything we need. You shouldn't take anything with you except the clothes on your back." Luke said

Ben shrugged, "I really don't have much to bring anyway," He said. There was nothing that he owned that would be useful out in the woods anyway.

Luke reached out his hand to Ben, and he saw that the whole time he had been carrying a rather large satchel. He hadn't noticed it till his uncle had held it out to him. "You will need to carry this while we walk," his uncle explained.

Ben took the satchel without complaint and swung it over his shoulders, adjusting the straps slightly till they were comfortable enough for a long walk. It was heavier than he expected and he was curious about what it contained. Supplies perhaps? Perhaps some kind of Jedi training tools? He would have to wait and see.

"Did you want to eat before we leave?" Ben asked hopefully. He was hungry and he did not relish the thought of walking for hours without any food in his stomach.

Luke shook his head no, "We have rations packed in the satchel. We will eat when we reach our destination."

The boy didn't say anything in response but instead hung his head glumly. He supposed that he could try and argue with his uncle but it might not amount to anything. Except maybe he would be punished for arguing with his uncle. _We better have a lot of food to eat or else I might end up eating you dear uncle_ , he thought to himself.

Luke smiled at his young nephew and gestured to the woods behind them, he turned to look as he pointed. The forest in that direction looked dense and unapproachable. The forest canopy was thick but light still penetrated the foliage enough to see a tiny path between the trees. Despite the picturesque setting he did not think that the hike would be an easy one.

While Ben gaped at the trees his uncle started walking towards them at a leisurely pace. Apparently he was not in a hurry to reach their unknown destination. Perhaps it was a lesson in patience. Ben followed and trudged just a step behind him. He did this partly because the pack was actually kind of heavy to carry, and also because he didn't want his uncle to start up a conversation with him simply because they were walking near each other.

As the morning wore on and slowly became noon, the walk itself became as difficult as he had feared it would be. He was covered in sweat and had stopped once to take off part of his robes so he wouldn't over heat. Ben stripped off his shirt as well so he was bare chested. The air felt cool against his bare skin. Luke stopped with him and looked at him serenely. If his uncle was hot in the robes he didn't act like it, he seemed like he was enjoying the walk. But then again the older Jedi was not carrying a pack that was getting heavier with every mile they covered. Ben felt his mood grow darker with the distance covered. He was certain that he was radiating displeasure, but if his uncle could sense his mood he did not say anything.

Ben glared at the back of his uncles' head as they started climbing up what felt like the hundredth hill. _If you could read my mind you'd probably chop my head off right now_ , he thought as he kept glaring at Lukes' head. Luckily for him his uncle did not seem to possess that power.

When they reached the top of the hill Luke held out his hand to signal Ben to stop walking. The boy hadn't really been paying attention and he ran into his uncles' hand which brought him back to reality. He looked up from the ground and looked up to see why they had stopped. He had been keeping his head down as he had trudged up the hill.

Now that they were at the top of the small mound he realized why they had stopped. At the very center of the hill there was a ten foot tall monolith that dominated the scene. The monolith itself was unremarkable. It was bare and roughly carved with no design or writing gracing its surface. It rested on top of a raised dais that looked like it could have been an altar of some kind. The top of the hill had been leveled out and was totally flat, it was obvious that this place had been carefully laid out by someone. There was a fine littering of leaves and loose limbs, but the plateau was barren of everything except its stone centerpiece.

The next thing that hit him was a wave of energy. Ben did not feel it physically so much as mentally and emotionally. It was like a pulsating light that radiated not only from the monolith but the hill itself. The feeling itself was like a dull thud. He had a sudden flash of insight that the pulsating was in tune with his own heartbeat. Ben dropped the pack from his bag and fell to his knees.

He was so exhausted that he had not bothered to keep his defenses up as they walked through the forest. This might have been the purpose of the journey all along. A kind of premonition hit him that generations of young Jedi before him had gone into the woods and climbed this very hill. Exhausting themselves so that when they reached this place they would be more receptive to the light side of the Force. It was clever actually. And it was very effective.

Ben looked up at his uncle with a scared and shocked expression. At that moment he knew he looked more like a young child than a teenager. But he could not help himself. He was totally helpless. Luke gave him a very penetrating but unreadable expression. "Now we can being your training."


	6. Chapter 6

The day was hot and a thin sheen of sweat covered his upper body, even after sitting in the shade for the last half hour he still felt uncomfortably sticky. Once they had reached the top of the hill his uncle had sat next to the monolith and gestured for Ben to hand him the pack from his back. Ben gave it to him gladly, as it was heavy, and he wanted to finally sit down in the shade.

The power radiating from the place kept battering at him. It came in gentle waves, as if the light side of the Force was ocean and it was crashing against him. After his initial exposure to it he had collected himself as best he could. He was desperately trying to keep his expression stoic and unreadable. However he knew he was failing. The combination of the exhaustion and heat was tearing down his normal mental barriers. From here on he would have to be very careful with his uncle. For the first time he actually felt afraid, if the Jedi master was able to discern the darkness in the young mans' heart he did not know what the consequences would be. Feeling fear creep into his mind made him angry. Mentally he berated and chastised himself, building anger at his own failings in place of the fear, it gave him power even in his weakened state.

Luke was taking his time unloading contents from the pack that Ben had carried. He purposefully took out each item, examined it, and then set it to the side. He looked utterly serene and untroubled while he did this. Meanwhile Ben could feel his anxiety increasing with every minute that passed. He did not like being in this place. It was taking willpower he did not even know that he had to not bolt and run. Ben dug his nails into his own palm until he felt his skin become slick with small droplets of blood. The pain was a way to clear his mind, and he felt himself finally build his mental barriers back up against the constant inundation of the Force.

While Luke took his time pouring over the contents of the satchel, Ben was taking the time to gather his strength by resting. While his uncle sat next to the monolith and leaned against it, Ben had made it a point to sit away from the stone. He had chosen to sit under a small sapling that was growing some five feet from the stone altar. The pale boy leaned against it in what would look like a lazy manner, but in reality he was watching the Jedi like a hawk. His eyes followed the older mans every movement. Plus he kept the monolith in full view as well. It was a strange sensation, but Ben could have almost sworn that the stone was more like a living creature, dormant of course, but it pulsated energy that he had never felt in anything that was not alive. He purposefully dug his nails into his other palm till he felt blood leak out from underneath them. Pain was helping him.

It was enough to keep his mind on full alert even while his body was exhausted. He needed both his mind and body ready to respond for whatever his uncle had planned for him and his training. At least the sapling had ample shade. The sweat drying on his skin made him feel gross but there was nothing he could do to stop that. He still had his shirt off to take advantage of the cool breeze that was blowing. If his uncle did not do anything soon he was afraid that he would fall asleep leaning against the tree.

Luke straightened up suddenly and Ben took notice, raising himself slightly away from the tree in anticipation. His uncle reached out his hand to his nephew and Ben could see that he had a food packet in his outstretched hand. There was no way for him to reach it while sitting down, and his uncle did not make any move to sit up and bring it to him. Ben sighed internally and moved from his position to get the food packet. Ben wiped his hands on the back of his pants to hide any incriminating blood before he took the food. His stomach grumbled uncomfortably as it seemed to realize that food was so near.

He stood up and walked the few feet to his uncle, taking the food with the intention of going back to his previous positon to eat it.

His uncle patted the dirt beside him, "Come sit here while you are eating." He didn't look up at Bern while he spoke, instead picking up his own food packet which he slowly started to open.

Ben did not feel like arguing, and reluctantly sat next to his uncle. He turned in such a way that he could still keep his eyes on both Luke and the monolith.

His stomach was very audibly growling and he was certain that his uncle could hear it. But the boy forced himself to slowly open the food pack and take out its contents. He arranged everything neatly in front of him and took his time with the actual act of eating. As far as good packs went it was not half bad. It was still dry and mostly tasteless of course, but it was bigger than the usual rations that he had eaten. But that could have been because he was starving at that point and even dirt probably would have been a culinary delight. Despite his appetite he forced himself to chew slowly and savor each bite, he didn't want Luke to know just how hungry he actually was. It was not fitting to tear into food like some kind of wild animal. He had his dignity at least.

Ben sat cross legged and ate his food. He watched his uncle as he ate but the other man seemed focused on his own meal as well. The young man finished first and gathered up the empty packaging but did not know where to put it. He could let the wind take it and blow it away but he suspected that his uncle might disapprove.

Luke saw what he was doing and pointed to the now empty satchel. "You can put the trash in there, we will empty it when we return to the temple tomorrow."

Ben did as he was instructed but inwardly he cringed. He knew they were staying out in the woods overnight but the thought of staying several days here filled with a gnawing dread. If was honest with himself he knew that he did not have the mental fortitude to stand being here for a full day.

After he finished stuffing the sack with the detritus of the meal, he handed to bag to his uncle so he could do the same to his own. His uncle took the pack with a small nod. Ben sat down next to his uncle and watched him until he finished. If the training was going to begin then it would do so now. With their bellies full and nothing else to distract him now was the perfect time to begin.

Luke looked up at Ben and gave him a warm smile. Ben tried to return it but he barely managed a grimace. He was not looking forward to this, and he had little energy to spare to try and convince the other man of his false enthusiasm. He might have felt better if he had known what the training would entail. As his uncle had been unpacking the pack earlier he had noticed that there were no light sabers, or anything that could be even considered a weapon. It was more like he had packed for a picnic than any arduous training session like he would have expected.

His uncle patted the ground directly in front of him. Motioning for his nephew to take a sitting position next to the monolith once again. Ben moved to a sitting position near his uncle and the monolith. If he got through the training quickly it would help him in the long run.

"I wanted to talk to you about why you were sent here," his uncle said softly as he looked his nephew over.

Ben looked his uncle in the eye and kept an unreadable expression. Of everything he was anticipating conversation was not one of them. "Why did you want to talk about that?" He asked with a neutral tone of voice.

His uncle shifted slightly and looked more intently at the young boy. Ben looked back at him suddenly defiant, he was expecting to be condemned or at least reprimanded.

Luke studied his nephew carefully. "I know why your mother sent you here. I know why she felt that she needed to keep this decision from your father. But what I'm curious about is how you feel about all this. I want to know what you are thinking," Luke said softly.

Ben shrugged and looked away, he was not sure how to respond. "It doesn't matter what I think or feel about all of this. I don't have any power over my own destiny." He said it all in a bitter tone, ultimately unable to hide his emotions over the whole ordeal.

Luke continued to study him carefully with a neutral expression. Ben did not like the scrutiny but he couldn't bring himself to meet his uncles' gaze any longer. There was a certain power in the other mans' eyes. They seemed older and wiser than eyes he had seen on others. They reminded him uncomfortably of his mothers.'

Luke continued, "I'm sorry that you feel that way. What I want to do with you is make you a promise. I want to train you to be a Jedi, but before your training is at its end; I want you to come to your own decision if that is truly what you want. Becoming a Jedi is something that you must choose on your own, no one can force you to choose it," his Uncle said firmly. "The only thing I want from you is the simply the chance to teach you the ways of the Force."

Ben finally met his eyes. He had not expected that. Being given the chance to make his own decision, he had never been given that opportunity before. All he could do was stare at his uncle with a confused expression.

Luke smiled at him, "as long as that is alright with you," he said with a slight trace of amusement in his voice. Apparently the expression on Ben's face was amusing to him.

The young boy cleared his throat and shrugged, trying to appear nonchalant. "I think that it sounds very fair to me." He said carefully. "And you will let me choose at the end what I want? No matter what it might be?" Ben asked curiously.

Luke nodded and smiled, "so we are in agreement then?" He asked.

Ben nodded and offered up a smile to his uncle. "We are in agreement, master Jedi." He acknowledged. _I wonder, would you be so willing to say that if you knew who my real master was? What if I embrace the Dark Side uncle, what will you do then?_ He thought to himself.

He could guess how that particular altercation would end. It was best to still lie low until the right moment came to strike. He was going to take his own life into his own hands, and do what he wished to do. It was his destiny.

Still, he had no expected his uncle to be so kind to him. He had suspected that with so many other padawans that he would fall by the wayside. Ben had counted on that fact. But having the personal attention was unexpected. There was a buried part of the young boys' heart that relished the personal attention from his uncle, the part of him that still craved to be with his family. It was a useless emotion he knew, he needed to eradicate it from his mind completely if we was to become strong. But he could not deny that it all made him feel very strange. Feeling things he was not familiar with made him stay on edge, like a trapped animal. He needed to bury this all deep inside if he wanted to survive. He knew he would prove to himself that he was as strong as Darth Vader.


	7. Chapter 7

The training itself, when it began after their brief mediation, was just as physically demanding as Ben had thought it would be. Despite the respite that the small lunch, rest, and mediation had offered he was still not as his top physical peak. After their talk and perhaps thirty minutes of mediation his uncle handed Ben back the sack that had held their supplies.

"Fill this bag with rocks, and when you are done I want you to run up and down this hill until I tell you to stop." Luke dropped the bag into Ben's open arms.

Ben stared at it cringing. It was not a huge bag, but even just carrying their few supplies had gotten rough after hours of trudging through the forest. Adding rocks to the bag would be a thousand times worse.

"Of course," he said only with a hint of rebellion. Despite what his true intentions might be in the end, he could not deny that all of this physical labor would benefit him in the end. A stronger body would benefit him in more ways than one. If he became stronger he was certain he could be a match for any of the padawans that his uncle was currently training.

 _Except for Cavan and Hilab, I think that they might prove to be a challenge. I will have to be clever and quick as well_ , he thought to himself. He tucked the sack under his arm and busied himself with looking for the largest rocks that he could find. Luckily there was an abundance of rocks on the small hill. They were not small or smooth like river stones, they were all jagged things bigger than his fist. Carrying these around in the sack might end up splitting open the material. Unless it was stronger than it looked, otherwise they would be carrying back all their supplies in their hands.

The boy quickly filled the sack with its heavy cargo. He stuffed them in and tied the straps securely as sweat already started to drip into his eyes. He angrily wiped it away. There would be a lot of fluid loss today, he hoped his uncle had packed enough water for both of them.

Once he was certain that it was securely tied he carefully swung the pack onto his back. Ben could feel the sharp ends of the rocks pushing through the fabric and into his back. This might actually give him an advantage. Pain did have a habit of keeping him more focused. He started jogging down the hill at a steady pace. If he wasn't going fast enough he was certain that his uncle would correct him. His eyes swung in the direction of his uncle, but the older man was leaning against the monolith again meditating and breathing steadily. His eyes weren't even open.

Even though he had tried to secure the pack as tightly to his body as he could, it still bounced uncomfortably against the bare skin of his back. The rocks bruised him as they thudded repeatedly against his back. Occasionally he felt a sting as a sharp end of the rocks pierced the fabric and his skin. Still, he kept jogging up and down the hill. His breath was ragged and he had stopped trying to keep track of time. But if he had to guess he would say he had been at this for at least half an hour. The muscles in his legs burned and he felt his energy rapidly depleting. Ben had always thought that he was in decent shape while on his home world. But he had never done so much physical activity for so long without rest.

Part of him wanted to drop the bag and stop immediately, uncle and training be damned, but another part of him was genuinely curious with how much he could take before collapsing. Besides, stopping wasn't really an option anyway. He realized suddenly that he had no idea how to get back to the Jedi temple. Even if he rebelled now it was a long journey back, with no supplies, and he wouldn't even know if he was going in the right direction. It would be a terribly embarrassing end for the would-be sith lord to die of starvation in the forest of an unknown world.

The thought gave him more energy and he picked up the pace. Eventually even the pain and discomfort did nothing to add to his anger, but it instead drained him and he was certain he was at his limit. With each run up the hill the pack felt heavier and heavier, it was even beginning to drag him down. He felt like a drowning man attached to an anchor being dragged to the bottom of a lake.

"You can stop now," Luke called from behind him. Ben had been ready to start another run down the hill when his uncle had called out.

Ben stopped in his tracks and let out an obvious and unabashed sigh of relief. The pack dropped from his back and hit the ground with a dull thud, the strings on the sack snapped open and half of the rocks came tumbling out. The boy didn't even have the energy to care about it.

He sat down heavily on the dirt beside the pack and lay on his back. There was sweat dripping off his entire body and it made the dirt stick to his body. If he stood up now it would look like he was covered in flour. But he couldn't bring himself to care about that either. His breath was loud and gasping and he tasted blood in his mouth. He wanted to call out to his uncle to bring him water but he couldn't get the words out. Instead he tried licking his lips ineffectually so he could speak, but he found that he had no saliva to spare.

As he looked up at the sky Luke appeared in his field of vision. He knelt down and sat a jug of water by the boys head. The knowledge that water was within his grasp gave him enough energy to sit up and take the jug, guzzling it down with enthusiasm.

"Thank you," he managed to say after he had downed half of the contents of the jug. He meant it too, he had never been this thirsty before. He had to resist the urge to chug the rest of the water. For all he knew this was the only water between both of them and he might have to ration it.

His uncle sat down beside him and studied his nephew, "For now you need some rest, before it gets dark we will mediate again. The physical aspects of becoming a Jedi are just as important as the mental aspects."

Ben looked up at him and did not answer. There was nothing that he needed to add to that explanation. In the past the Jedi had to be the peacekeepers. It was almost a certainty that a physically fit Jedi would live longer than one that is not. It was about preparation and survival. And efficiency, at least that much he could admire from the Jedi way. But after all of that exertion he was almost happy to be meditating before dark.

Luke did not say anything further to him and Ben took the time to rest. Talking would have been too hard on him now. After a few minutes he struggled back to his feet. He handed the canteen of water back to his uncle but Luke waved it away.

"I have my own, and there is a clear running creek where we can both bath before we sleep tonight." Luke grinned at his nephew.

Ben knew at that moment that he had looked relieved. He could tolerate many things but he did not like being uncomfortable for long periods of time. And right now he felt indescribably gross with the sweat and dirt covering his skin and pants. He could only guess that he smelled terrible too.

The young man took another large gulp of water. He felt light headed and his stomach was starting to growl again. Now that he had stopped running up and down the hill he became very aware of the other aches and pains in his body. His back felt numb with bruises and his knees were certainly swollen. But every ache and pain would pay off in the end. Even now his body would start building muscle. In a few months running around with a sack full of rocks might become easy to him.

For now though he was still too weak, but his body was still a work in progress. He would make sure it was working in peak condition. He took another large swallow of water and realized that he had drained the entire canteen. Ben shook out the few remaining drop onto his face to clear away the sweat and grime. The old Jedi saw him shake out the last few drops and motioned for Ben to hand him the canteen.

"I'll go fill this back up with water. For now I want you to sit by the monolith and meditate till I tell you to stop." Luke took the canteen from his nephew and started to walk off, following a small path that Ben hadn't noticed before. It led to the opposite end of the hill and behind the monolith which explained why he had not seen it before. The boy waited until he saw his uncle move out of sight before he reluctantly went to sit and meditate by the monolith.

He did not want to be so close to it, but he did not want to disobey. At least not yet. He looked over his shoulder to make sure his uncle had not returned and he quickly bit into his left hand. His skin was coated in sweat and dust and he could taste the grit on his tongue. Still, he kept biting harder till the skin broke and blood flowed into his mouth. The salt and warmth of the blood mixed with the grit to make a kind of paste. Still he bite down harder almost as if he intended to take a bite out of his own flesh, he ground his teeth to make the wound jagged and more blood flowed.

He swallowed the blood and then studied his hand. It hurt, which was what he intended all along of course. Even though it was salty and horrible he felt like it gave him strength. Deep down inside Ben knew he was a predator. The taste of blood, even if it was his own, stirred some portion of his primitive brain and sent his heart racing. He might still be young and inexperienced, but he would say that in some ways the feeling was almost erotic. Pain kept him centered here even with an altar of the light side of the force at his back. The pain was fading, and he knew he would have to keep doing this to keep the sensation sharp in his mind.

Looking over his shoulder one more time to see if his uncle had returned he quickly tore off a small section of his shirt that he had taken off during the trudge through the jungle. He had lain his shirt and robes by the monolith for safe keeping. He wrapped his hand as best he could. Any infection was the least of his concern, right now he had to hide a very obvious bite mark from the Jedi master. Bruises and cuts from the training could be easily explained and dismissed, a wound with teeth marks could not.

With one last glance over his shoulder to see if his uncle had returned he sat and crossed his legs. He kept his back rod straight and started to meditate. His mind was carefully blank and filled with nothing, he ignored the pulsating of the light side of the force as he instead focused on his pain. Eventually he was able to ignore it, even though it stayed on the peripheral of his mind like a dog begging to be let inside.


	8. Chapter 8

At the end of the day Ben was certain of exactly two things. One, he was in desperate need of a bath. Secondly, he must be very good at faking serenity while meditating. When his uncle came back from the hidden river, he dropped the now full canteen next to his nephew. Ben did not make any move to reach for it as he was supposed to be meditating. But he knew it was next to his hand. With his eyes closed he could sense his uncle take up a similar sitting position in front of him. The Jedi said nothing as he sat down and began mediating, but there was no need for conversation at this point. Ben hoped that the meditation would not take too long.

He was unaware of how much time was passing as he sat there silently contemplating nothing. The only way he could vaguely judge the time passing was that the sun had been shining brightly on his face, but now it was fading. The air was also growing colder and the light from behind his eyelids was growing dimmer. Night felt like it was coming fast. But on this alien world he had no idea how long the twilight would last. He kicked himself mentally for not paying attention on his first night here.

The boy sensed his uncle stirring and he fought the urge to open his eyes. He had to stay silent until he was told to move. Patience was never his strong suit and inside he was feeling anxious. He wanted this whole thing to be over.

"You can stop now Ben," his uncle said quietly. Ben opened his eyes and blinked rapidly at the light in his eyes. It was indeed twilight, in the distance the sun was settling on the horizon before it would disappear until the morning. Despite the light being faint it still shocked his eyes after having his eyes closed for so long.

He blinked again and looked up at his uncle. Luke was already standing up and looking at his nephew with tired eyes. If his uncle was tired then Ben knew he must look like a water logged rat. He could even smell himself, the sweat and dirt was coating him and it made him feel gritty all over.

Ben pushed himself up from his sitting position with his knees protesting the movement, but he massaged them as he stood and stretched out to his full height. His whole body was hurt and aching. He looked over at his uncle, "Where is this river you were talking about?" He didn't even try to sound disinterested about it. He needed a bath right away.

Luke grinned and pointed. "Just follow the path behind the monolith you can't miss it. And there's no animal or water dwelling creatures that you need to worry about. You'll be safe stripping naked."

That was good news to him. But at this point he might have faced an angry and feral Wookie naked as long as it meant he could get a shower afterwards. His body needed a nice hot bath more than anything. But clear and fresh river water would have to do for now.

At least the path was easy to follow, even though he passed by the monolith he kept his head turned away from it. The farther he got from that thing the better it would be. Oddly enough he could almost sense the water close to him. Or perhaps it was a smell in the air, kind of fresh and cool. Either way he heard it before he ever saw it.

As he turned a bend in the tiny path he saw that it was more like a large creek than an actual river. It looked fairly deep, perhaps five feet at its deepest, and perhaps twenty feet wide. It looked peaceful and it gave him pause for a minute. In some ways he had a greater feeling of serenity here then he did with the monolith. This had happened to him before, when he was out in the wilderness or forests of his home world he found a deep serenity there. Ben had used to go there when he was younger, until Snoke found out about his particular affinity with nature, and told him that he should not go back there. And Ben had obeyed.

He walked over to the edge of the river and stripped off his boots. He tossed them in the grass and dug his toes into the soft wet soil. It brought a small smile to his face, he had done this too when he was younger. It had made his mother terribly mad when he had come home covered in mud. But that never stopped him, he had secretly relished the attention she gave him as she fussed over his dirty clothes and mud coated face and hair. If she could see him now he wondered what she would do.

He shook his head to clear his thoughts of this terrible nostalgia and started to strip. He stopped as he suddenly heard footsteps behind him. Ben looked over his shoulder and saw his uncle approaching from the path. He stopped stripping and instead turned and faced the water. He did not want to strip in front of anyone, much less his uncle. Maybe he could bath with his pants on? _There is no need to be embarrassed, it's just nudity. The body is nothing to be ashamed of_ , he thought to himself. But still he did not try to strip again.

"If you're worried about your privacy I was planning on going up-stream about a quarter mile. I won't be able to see anything." Luke smiled slightly as he said that. He had already taken off his heavy robe and draped it over a nearby tree limb. Once again Ben wondered if the Jedi was reading his mind. But more likely his emotions were easy to read. It was an infuriating flaw that he could not seem to overcome.

Ben tried to appear disinterested. "I'm not shy if that's what you're worried about," he said in a completely non-convincing tone. He did not meet his uncles' gaze as he said this.

Luke just smiled. "Well, even if you are not shy did you think that perhaps I am? I am an old man after all," he laughed as he said it. "I need to preserve the modesty that I still have left."

Ben looked up at his uncle and he felt a stab of affection for the older man. Despite what he might believe man was still his uncle, at one time he looked up to him like a hero. But he could not afford to think like that now. Attachment was weakness and he needed strength and not useless sentiment.

The boy shrugged and looked back to the river. "If you're that shy then it is better that you bath out of sight. I'll stay here, I won't be long. And I promise not to look either"

His uncle replied, "That's very kind of you. I also packed you some extra clothes since the ones you are wearing will need to be cleaned." After that Luke turned to leave and walk along the stream. He looked so at peace doing so. As if he had no cares in the world.

Ben watched him go. When he was far enough out of sight he started to strip again. He had to fight back a feeling of helplessness as he did so. It was strange to be completely nude out in the middle of nowhere. He had complete privacy but he still felt self-conscious. Unless the animals on this planet were interested in seeing naked teenage boys he had nothing to worry about.

He shivered as he stood for a minute completely nude. With one last look to make sure his uncle was out of sight he plunged into the water. It was much colder than he had expected. He let out a whoop as it shocked him. Still, he dove under the water and scrubbed himself as best he could. He had no soap. If there was soap his uncle had forgotten to give him some. Even so it felt good to let the water rush over his body. After a good five minutes of scrubbing and splashing he pulled his pants and underthings into the water with him. There was not much else he could do besides get off the dirt and sweat as best he could.

The stream itself was completely picturesque. The bottom of it was all smooth stones of varying colors. Ben amused himself for a few minutes be swimming along the bottom and examining the stones, bringing a few to the surface to throw and skip along the surface of the water. The chill of the water was starting to overwhelm him and his lips started to tremble. It was time to get out of the water.

With enthusiasm he left the stream and hung his robes up on the same tree limb where his uncle had left his own. He stretched out the fabric so that it would air dry quickly. They would be dry by the morning and he could be fully clothed again. Ben looked down the stream searching for his uncle. With a sudden realization, he realized that his uncle had left the clean clothes up on the hill. Ben sighed loudly, it seemed that there was nothing else to do. With one last look to make sure his uncle was still not around, he started sprinting; naked, up the hill. His body was still sore from the training and he was surprised that he could still walk let alone sprint. But he wanted to get into some clean clothes before his uncle came upon a cold and shivering teenager. It would be undignified to be seen in such a way.

His feet were wet and every time they slapped against the ground they carried dirt with them. But it couldn't be helped. He could live with dirty feet as long as everything else was clean. When he reached the camp he was shivering, and the short sprint had only done a little too warm him up. He searched for the contents of the bag that Luke had laid out earlier and saw them all sitting neatly by the monolith. Ben crouched down and started to look through what was there, trying to find the clothes Luke had said he had packed. He found it eventually, he had overlooked them at first. It was just a simple brown cloth shirt and pants. It had been rolled into a ball so he had not known what it was at first. For a few seconds he had started to believe that his uncle had lied about there being clean clothes waiting for him. It would have been a mean joke certainly. It would not have improved his mood to be naked and shivering searching for non-existent clothing while his uncle chuckled from the shadows.

The cloth was soft, softer than the robes, and he pulled them on quickly. He was still cold. And he suddenly realized that he had left his shoes down by the river. He contemplated getting them, but he was more concerned with getting warm first. He shuddered and his teeth were starting to chatter. After he had gotten the chill out of his bones he would run back and get them. Among the supplies was a fire starting kit, and a warm fire sounded almost as good as food. He set about gathering brush and firewood for the fire. His toes were frozen by the time he had gathered enough for a decent blaze. He had to stop and massage his feet to get the blood flowing back into them. Only then did he start up the fire and lean back to appreciate his handiwork. The sun had almost completely set and the temperature was dropping rapidly. Between the cold, followed by the comfortable warmth of the fire; not to mention all the training, he felt as if he would pass out waiting for his uncle to return.

In fact he did doze off for a little while. He didn't even realize he was asleep until he heard footsteps near his head and he sat bolt right up. Ben shook his head to clear his head, he must have only been out for a few minutes but it was along enough for his uncle to approach the camp without him being aware. He was lucky it was not a wild animal coming to drag him off.

His uncle looked refreshed from the bath. His uncle had remembered to carry his own change of clothes with him and he was wearing them now. He looked strange wearing simple clothes and carrying his dirty ones under his arm. He was even carrying Bens' shoes with him. Ben was grateful, he had forgotten to go back and get them.

Luke held the boots out to Ben as he walked by, "You seem to have left these behind," he said with a small laugh.

"Thank you," Ben said softly as he accepted the boots from his Uncles hands. The older man had even stuffed his socks in the boots so he wouldn't lose those either. His feet were still cold but he didn't try to put them back on. Instead he draped them over the boots to air out since he forgot to wash them. The fire was keeping him warm enough for now.

Ben settled back into a sitting position as his uncle sat next to him by the fire. He didn't try to move away from the Jedi. He was too tired to move after this long day. And he saw that his uncle was carrying something, something that looked like food, with him. His stomach grumbled at the sight. It resembled some kind of gourd or vegetable that Ben was not familiar with. Luke also placed some dried ration packs next to the boy.

Luke handed one of the gourds to Ben, who touched it gingerly. "How do I eat this?" He asked curious.

"You peel off the outer husk to get to the actual fruit. Or maybe it's a vegetable, I'm not really sure what to classify it as. But they grow wild in the forest. We eat them regularly back at the temple and the wildlife seems to enjoy it too," Luke said thoughtfully as he pulled back the skin on his own gourd. The flesh of the plant was a bright pink color that looked vibrant in the dark. Luke bit into the plant and started to chew.

Ben didn't hesitate to peel off the skin of his own meal, and he bit in hungrily. It was an odd taste, sweet but not overpowering, it tasted faintly of honey and potatoes. A strange combination but he was so hungry he could have eaten a whole basket of them.

He sensed that Luke was looking at him so he turned to meet his gaze. Luke was studying his nephew with an unreadable expression, one that made Ben vaguely uncomfortable. Ben stared right back at him. He was too tired to hide his emotions. _What are you looking at old man_? Ben thought to himself.

Luke shook his head and tossed the gourd skin into the fire, it briefly turned the fire a bright red. Ben grinned at the red. It was his favorite color. When he finished his own meal he tossed the remnants into the fire as well and watched the flames turn red. Luke handed him some of the dried rations as well, which Ben devoured with equal gusto, even though it wasn't as palatable as the plant had been.

"I think now we should sleep, in the morning we will head back to the temple." Luke said as he turned to speak with his nephew.

This peaked Bens' interest as he had thought they would be out in the wilderness for longer. Not that he was complaining. "Why?" Ben asked, wondering if maybe the early departure was because Luke had found him a sub-par student.

"I feel a disturbance, I'm not sure what it is. But it worries me, I want to get back to the other students. I want to check on them," Luke said softly. He did look worried. "Have you felt the same thing Ben?" Luke asked his nephew.

Ben paused, he had not been paying attention really. He had a vague sense of unease ever sense they had arrived at this place, but he had assumed the feelings were his own. Was it the force telling him that something was amiss? He had not experienced anything like it before. But the more he focused on it he realized that the unease was definitely not coming from him. Or his uncle. It was insubstantial and he had no idea where it was coming from. That must be what his uncle was sensing as well.

Ben looked over at his uncle. "I feel it, but I don't understand it." He was afraid that the unease Luke was feeling was because of the true intentions of Ben; and his master. But if it was him then Ben was certain that his uncle would have traced it back to him. This was something else, and Ben felt a stab of helplessness. If there was a threat lurking he could very well be in danger too. There was still so much to learn, and he needed his true master to teach him. It was shameful to be so ignorant of his own powers.

Luke gave Ben a small smile. One that he was certain was meant to be reassuring but Ben didn't notice, his own attention was turned inward to his connection to the dark side of the force. He wanted to know what this feeling was and where it came from.

"Let us sleep for now. We can't do anything now in the dark, we will rest and in the morning we will head back." With that Luke started to lay down next to the fire, making sure to give Ben enough space to stretch out as well. He spread his own robes out and covered himself like a blanket. Ben glared at his uncle, his own clothes were too wet to use as a covering. If they came out to the forest again he would make sure to insist on bringing some of his own supplies.

Ben sighed and lay down as well, his arm cushioning his head as he stared into the fire. Whatever was happening in the force would receive for attention tomorrow. For now he was useless while he was so tired. His eyelids fluttered and closed, and he drifted off to sleep.


	9. Chapter 9

Ben dreamt. Though later he would realize he had no idea that he was dreaming at the time. It felt so real to him. In this dream he could feel the sun against his skin, it was comforting and warm, which was impossible as he knew it was now fully night on the planet. And he knew that he was not alone. He turned as he sensed that someone was near. It was an unfamiliar presence, it was not his uncle nor any of the padawans that he had met the day before. He saw a girl, who she was he did not know. She stood in the distance silhouetted in the distance against a setting sun. And he sensed her emotions, more clearly than he had ever sensed anyone else before. There was a melancholy and loneliness that radiated off of her like waves off an ocean. There was power too, she shone so brightly and he realized that he was seeing her connection to the Force. He could even sense that she was beautiful though her back was turned to him. Her eyes and hair would be brown he knew, a soft calming brown that made him feel at peace.

He called out to her, "Hello!" he screamed as loud as he could, hoping that even in his dream she would turn and speak to him. In his dream he saw her begin to turn, and his breath caught in his throat as he waited to see her face.

And then he woke up with a jolt. His heart was beating quickly and he was completely disoriented. Ben gulped in air as he remembered that he was outside, with his uncle, on an unfamiliar world. In the distance the sun was just beginning to peek over the top of the trees and hills. The air was cold and crisp and the fire had burned down to just a few glowing coals.

He shivered and realized that he was covered in his uncles' robes. Sometime during the night Luke must have lay them over his sleeping body. It was a testament to how exhausted he had been, normally he would have sensed someone getting that close to him. If there had been a wild animal dragging him off then he probably would have slept through that too.

Ben stood up and wrapped the robes around him tightly. He felt terrible, he could feel himself getting sick. There was an ache deep in his chest and in his mind that had nothing to do with fatigue. Sleeping outside was a bad idea and he felt more drained than he had ever before in his life. It was almost like he had not slept at all. His body ached and he felt stiff from laying on the hard ground. Still, at least with the robes and the heat coming from the dying coals he was not freezing.

Luke was nowhere to be found but Ben found that he was not worried, or maybe he was too tired to care about his relative. With the skill level that his uncle possessed he was certain the man could handle almost anything that came his way. The older man was probably off doing some mediation on a tree stump. He busied himself by poking the embers and adding more fuel to the fire, slowly adding small sticks followed by larger sticks till the fire started to grow. Soon it was a healthy blaze and it gave off a pleasant warmth. Ben sat back down and gazed into the fire, his mind drifting back to the dream he had. Or was it really a dream? It was so real, perhaps he had a vision of some kind. It might not be too hard to believe, he knew his grandfather had them on several occasions. But if it was a vision then what could it have meant? Images of a young girl he did not know, on a planet he did not recognize, he was completely clueless about the whole experience.

The feeling of helplessness washed over him. He was glad that Luke was not around. He might have been tempted to confide in the old Jedi about the strange dream he had experienced. But that would have been a mistake. What he needed to do was speak with his master Snoke. He knew that his master would be interested in what had happened. Even if Ben did not know what it meant then surely Snoke would. He was wise and well versed in the ways of the force, he would know what to do.

Behind him he heard the sounds of footsteps. Ben didn't bother to turn around, he could sense that it was his uncle coming up from the path. In those few moments before his uncle came into view Ben closed his eyes and took that time to compose himself. He didn't want his emotions to be so easily read on his face. If he let some of his feelings slip he would blame it on exhaustion. Ben opened his eyes, sighed, and poked the fire with a long stick as his uncles came up to his side and sat down.

Ben glanced over and saw that his uncle had come back with Ben's clothes, now dry, and more of those strange vegetable gourds from the wild. His stomach took that moment to roar to life at the sight of food and he was hit with a stomach pain string enough to almost double him over. When they got back to the temple Ben knew that the first thing he would do would be to gorge himself on whatever food he could find.

Luke handed over the gourd and Ben wasted no time with pulling back the husk and biting into the fruit. He went through two of the things before be felt like talking.

"Thank you," Ben said to his uncle as he tossed away the last of his breakfast and reached for his clothes. They were stained now but at least they did not smell like sweat and dirt. It was a vast improvement from yesterday. He pulled them on over his sleeping clothes, it helped to keep him warm. The boy sighed as he struggled into the air dried robes. When he was done adjusting the garments he looked back at the Jedi.

Luke had a pained expression on his face, and Ben frowned at him. "Did something happen?" Ben asked curiously. It would always be unnerving to see any expression on the face of a man as powerful as his uncle. It made him nervous.

The Jedi gave a small and unconvincing smile. "It's just the same feeling as yesterday. I've decided that we can't waste time walking through the forest. I've contacted the temple and they are coming to pick us up on a transport vehicle." Luke pulled a small communicator from a pocket in his robe and showed it to Ben.

The boy just stared at it, he had not even known that his uncle had brought one alone. But of course he had, it would have been foolish to wander off into the forest with no means of communication. His uncle was a smarter man than that. And it would save Ben from trudging back through the forest. That alone was enough to make him immensely grateful to the man.

When Ben didn't say anything Luke continued. "They will be here in an hour to get us. When we get back to the temple you should take the day to rest up, I think this might have been too much for your first day here." He smiled lightly.

Ben shrugged, it had been a lot for being here all of three days. But he was determined not to complain. It would pay off in the end when his body adjusted to the physical demands and he would be stronger.

"I am stronger than you think," he said with a slight petulance. Luke just gave him a concerned look that showed he did not believe his nephews statement at all.

Ben went back to poking the fire with a long stick. "I will pack up the last of the supplies. I know that the pack got torn but we should still be able to use it."

He tossed the long stick into the fire and watched it slowly start to catch fire. As he stood he let the robe fall to the ground and his uncle caught it, folding it around his arm as he gave his nephew a brief look before looking off into the distance. His eyes were clouded, it was obvious that he was in deep thought.

As he walked over to the discarded pack Ben started to shiver. Yes, there was no denying that he was getting a cold. It wasn't cold enough for him to be shivering like this. Still, there was no need to complain. He sighed when he saw that he had not taken the rocks out of the pack from the previous evening. In his exhausted state he had just dumped it where it lay. He knelt down and started taking the rocks out one by one. He tossed them over the side of the hill and listened to them slowly tumble down and strike against the rocks at the bottom.

When that was done he stood up and started to move to where Luke had left the supplies, placing them as carefully as possible into sack. He started shivering again, this time more violently. As quickly as he could he shoved everything inside and went back to sit by the fire.

The boy wrapped his arms around himself and started to shiver harder than before. He lay his head against knees and closed his eyes. He hoped that whoever came to pick them up brought medicine with them. And at the temple there should be a medical bot. He would just have to hold on till then.

By his side he sensed his uncle stirring from his sitting position, and the calming sensation of a robe being draped over his shoulders. Ben looked up briefly legitimately grateful at the gesture. He even managed small smile. His uncle looked concerned, his brow furrowed with worry. Part of him was actually feeling guilty for making him worry. The sudden illness must have been affecting him more than he thought.

Luke knelt beside him and placed his hand on the boys' forehead. He must be trying to gauge his temperature, but even Ben could tell that his head felt hot when compared to the other man's hand. He had a fever, and he hadn't realized it till now. The speed at which he had gotten sick was starting to frighten him. He could remember if he had the fever when he had first awoken. If it had just now hit him then whatever sickness he had contracted was exceptionally fast.

"It's good that we are going back soon. I don't like how warm your skin feels. You certainly have a fever, did you feel ill when you fell asleep last night and not tell me?" Luke asked in a concerned tone.

Ben shook his head, his heart was starting to race. "I just felt really tired last night but that's all. I was hungry and sore to." He admitted in a weak voice.

There was no denying that he was legitimately sick. Maybe last night he had gotten sick after the cold bath in the river. Or maybe he had over exerted himself. Or it could be some kind of alien flu. They wouldn't know till they got back to the temple.

Luke stroked Ben's head sympathetically. Secretly he was thankful for the small token of affection. It reminded him of his mother, and her image flashed in his mind suddenly. It was so vivid that he thought he was having another vision. Behind his closed eyelids he saw her concerned face staring down at him. He wanted her with him now, even if it was a sign of weakness. He did not have the energy to bury that need right now. But most of all he wanted a nice warm bed and hot food, and the chance to truly rest.

After a final shudder Ben passed out, his head and body only saved from falling into the fire by his uncle. Luke lay him down after catching him and shook him trying to get a response. He felt the boys' pulse which was pumping erratically and his eyes were firmly closed. A light sheen of sweat covered his body.

"Ben can you hear me?" He said with a panicked voice. But there was no answer. The boy was completely unconscious.


	10. Chapter 10

Ben drifted in and out of consciousness. He was not sure for how long, since time ceased to have any meaning to him. He had brief flashes of wakefulness where he remembered the concerned faces of his uncle and the other padawans staring down at him. He could only vaguely recollect being loaded into a transport ship and then there was darkness. Then later he knew he was in an unfamiliar room, perhaps a medical facility, but he could never stay awake long enough to make sense of what he was seeing.

Mostly, he remembered the images from his mind. In his fevered state he had started to hallucinate, or perhaps they were visions. Some were so real he could feel the wind and sun oh his face.

In this state he saw a vision of his mother, expect she was a young girl, younger than he was now. She was sitting in a garden in what he assumed was the planet of Alderaan. Next to her were a man and woman who seemed to be her parents, his own adopted grandparents that he had never met. It was a glimpse of a loving family life.

Next he saw flashes of a young boy on a dusty desert planet, slowly piecing together parts on a gold plated robot that looked familiar to him. Then there were images of a young boy on a swamp planet conversing with a small green alien. He could not make out what they were saying but the young man reminded him of his uncle.

And then there was her. It was the same girl from his first vision. But if he had hoped to gather any more knowledge about who she was he was going to be disappointed. It was so disjointed, the images flashing from one image to the next with a dizzying speed.

First he saw her as a young woman, perhaps older than he was now, scurrying about a destroyed ship. Next he saw her as young child in the ruined remains of what he thought was an AT-AT, holding onto a small homemade doll as she cried pitifully. IT made his heart ache and he did not know why. But she sounded so lonely.

Next he saw her as a young woman again. This time she looked frightened, and the environment was completely different. While the previous visions had been in a desert environment this one was covered in snow. Still she was wearing the same clothes she had been previously and she kept looking over her shoulder as she ran. It took him a moment but he realized that she was running from him. In the distance of his mind he could hear the faint echoes of someone's voice, a voice that cried out and called him a traitor.

When Ben finally woke up he stared at the ceiling, he was seeing but his mind was not yet registering that he was awake. It took several minutes before he realized that he was not having visions but that he was truly awake. He blinked slowly and tried to remember what had happened. _I was with Uncle Luke, and now I am here. I got sick…that's the last I remember_ he thought to himself. He must have been really out of it if he did not have a clear memory of how he got here.

If he was that incapacitated he must have been carrying to this medical facility. The mental image of himself as a sick and helpless, having to be carried like some kind of invalid was enough to make him moan with dismay. He could only hope not many people had seen him in that state. He flexed his arms and his movements still seemed kind of sluggish and stiff. He could not tell if it was because of his illness or if he was given medicine that made him feel that way.

With lots of struggling he was finally able to sit up and look around the room. He did not recognize this place, but he was not surprised by that fact. There was a window that showed a picturesque view of the surrounding forest, the sun was just starting to rise and it cast shadows throughout the room. He shivered in the morning chill and wrapped the blankets tighter around himself. At the foot of the small bed someone had laid an additional thick blanket, probably to keep his feet warm, and he eagerly grabbed it and wrapped it around his shoulders.

As he continued looking around the sparse and utilitarian room he felt his stomach growl. His stomach ached with a terrible emptiness. There had been times before where he was hungry but this felt like he was starving. It was a deep and insistent ache that demanded to be fed. It was painful enough that he wrapped his arms around his mid-section and groaned helplessly. He needed to get off this bed and find some food, or find someone to bring him some breakfast. In his condition he had no idea how to contact anyone and he didn't feel like shouting for help.

Behind him he heard noise, the sound of someone coming in through a door. While he had been taking in his surroundings he had not bothered to look behind him, and thus had not seen the door at first. Ben managed to twist himself around to look at the person who had entered the small room. He did not recognize the person at all.

It was a girl, or rather young woman; that he had not met before. He knew enough to know that she was not one of the padawans from a few days ago. She was at that age where he could not tell if she was in her late teens or early 20's. Either way he was certain that she was older than he was. Her eyes lit up when she saw him staring back at her.

But the most important thing was that she seemed to be carrying a sizable tray of food with her. She smiled at him, though she also looked slightly concerned.

"You really shouldn't be moving yet. This is the first time that you've moved around for some time." She placed the tray near Ben and he almost instinctively reached out for it, the only thing that stopped him was a sudden intense wave of dizziness that made his vision spin. He clasped his hands to the side of his head till his vision stopped swimming.

He sensed the unknown woman coming beside him. She did not try to touch him, which he was thankful for. Eventually the dizziness passed and he looked up to try to meet her gaze.

"Who are you? How long have I been in this place," He asked, his voice was raspy and did not sound like his own. His mouth was bone dry and he found he was also completely parched.

The girl gave a small smile and handed him a small glass of water from the tray, Ben drank it in seconds. "I've introduced myself before, you woke up twice before now. But you were still in the grip of an intense fever and I don't think you'll have any memory of me." She said slowly.

Ben just stared at her. He couldn't remember being awake and aware before now. He must have been in the throes of a serious illness to not even remember waking up previously. He shook his head, "I don't remember." He said. At least now his voice sounded more normal after the drink, though it was still very weak sounding.

The girl moved the tray to the foot of his bed and picked up a bowl filled with something that smelled fantastic. He was disappointed to see that it was only soup. He felt he could eat enough food for ten men.

She must have seen his expression because she grinned and she held it out to him. "For now we will feed you some soup. You haven't had solid food for a week and it will be a shock to your system. Try to eat some of this, and if it stays down I'll get your something more substantial for lunch."

Ben eagerly reached out for the bowl and took it in his hands. His hands shook despite the fact that the bowl was not very large or heavy. He was as weak as a new born kitten. There was a spoon with the bowl but he ignored it, instead bringing it to his lips and slurping it up like an animal.

It was delicious. His stomach let out a long and painful growl as the food hit his stomach. In some ways adding food to his belly hurt just as much as not having anything in it at all. But he would rather have this pain than the pain of it being empty. Ben managed to slurp half of the meal before he stopped to take a breath. Sitting the bowl on the blanket beside him as he let his insides adjust.

"My name is Joie by the way," the girl said from the side of his bed. He looked up at her as she spoke. He had been rude he knew, but he didn't care that much. He had been so hungry that social niceties could wait until after he had stopped his hunger pains.

He nodded at her. There was no need to be mean though, she was obviously the one that had been caring for him. And she had brought him food. "I'm Ben," he managed to say. Though his voice still sounded weak there was some strength behind it now that he had eaten.

She grinned and laughed softly, "It's nice to finally meet you now that you're awake." She motion to the bowl beside him. "Are you done?" She asked.

Ben shook his head and picked the bowl back up, slurping the rest of the contents with renewed gusto. After it was drained he handed it back to her. She took the bowl and set it back on the tray, picking up a small mug of some hot drink and taking a sip.

"If you feel up to it there is some tea for you as well," she said as she picked up the second hot mug. Ben reached out for it and she placed it gently in his hands. He took a few tentative sips and it warmed him up considerably. It was a new taste as well. It was slightly spicy but he found that he liked it.

"Thank you," he said, and he meant it. He was feeling more like his old self with every moment that passed. The food certainly had helped that. If she had not come by when she did he would have been forced to find his own sustenance. The thought of struggling to find the mess hall in his condition made him wince, he probably wouldn't have made it if he had tried. And the thought of having to be helped back to his bed was more insulting than his pride could bear.

"It's my pleasure. How does your stomach feel after eating?" She asked with a concerned tone. She reached out and gently took his hand, turning it over to feel the pulse at his wrist. He let her do it and he found her grip surprisingly soft. She did not have the hands of someone who was used to heavy labor. He wondered what her purpose was here. If she was not a padawan, or a doctor, then why was she here?

He looked at her closely. She was a pale girl, with a fine dusting of freckles over her cheeks and nose. Her hair was a lovely red color that she had braided up into a long rope that trailed along her back. Her clothes were nondescript and almost didn't warrant noticing. She also wore no makeup of any kind that he saw, though her eyelashes did seem to be very long. He blushed slightly as he came to the conclusion that she was cute. Not beautiful really, but she had a kind of gentle energy that he found to be rather captivating.

Joie let go of his hand and he let it drop back to the blanket. "Well, your pulse seems to be fine. And you're fever has been broken for about a day now. I had just been waiting for you to wake up."

Ben rubbed his wrist, it was a bit tingly from where she touched it. "How long was I unconscious?"

Joie pursed her lips and answered, "You were unconscious for a full week. Today is the seventh day since they brought you back from training with Master Luke."

He stared at her wide eyed. Seven days? The thought of being that sick for that long made him uneasy. Had he been near death? And where was his uncle during all of this? He felt a knot of anger form in his gut. If his uncle hadn't dragged him out into the woods unprepared this would not have happened. Ben clenched his jaw and looked away, not wanting Joie to see his face.

But it had been too late, she had seen the anger in his face, and she looked at him with genuine concern. "You're going to be alright though. I know it was scary but you are going to make a complete recovery." She said softly trying to reassure him.

Ben just shrugged. She must have misinterpreted his anger for fear over his health. That was just fine by him. He didn't need anyone hovering over him watching him. The sooner he was out of here the better it would be.

Joie moved away from the bed and picked up the tray with the dirty dishes and cups. "I'll take these back to the mess hall, then I will return and we can start getting you healthy again." She said in a chipper voice.

Ben couldn't help but look back at her. There was no malice or deception in her voice. He wondered what it was like to be genuine in your actions as she appeared to be. She smiled at him and walked out of the room carrying the tray. Ben turned and watched her go. When the door closed behind her he turned to look out the window, watching the world go by, thinking of nothing.


	11. Chapter 11

The next few days dragged on with a terrible and mind numbing slowness. The first morning that he had awoken in the infirmary he had tried to leave. Joie had come back to the infirmary with his lunch to find him walking slowly around the tiny room stretching his arms and legs, even as his vision still swam with the sudden exertion.

She had practically dragged him back to the bed and forced him to rest. She even gently but firmly chastised him for moving around so soon, and she made him promise to stay in bed till at least tomorrow morning. He reluctantly agree to her request even though he had no intention of keeping his promise to her. After lunch Ben had curled up in the small hospital bed and pretended as if he was going to take a nap, but as soon as Joie left the room he got back up again. He managed to do some more stretches, and even managed to do some push-ups and crunches that didn't make him feel like he was dying.

Unfortunately he had nothing to do now until dinner came along. He sat in bed and looked forlornly at the door, wishing that Joie would come back with food and some company to ease the painful boredom he was feeling. So far he had found her easy to be around, and she never expected him to talk or carry on a conversation. It was kind of refreshing and different from other girls he had met. Being along with his own thoughts was fine, but he was bored after staring at the wall for hours on end. He instead took the time to look around the room and examine the medical devices that were on hand.

It was very sparse. He briefly wondered how often the students here were injured or sick. As far as he could tell this one small room was actually the whole infirmary. With one small bed and a few limited medical supplies. If more than one student was seriously injured at a time then they would be catastrophically overwhelmed. He surmised that the medical building was still a work in progress, that or Jedi padawans rarely were injured. In addition he assumed that Joie was their only medical personnel. They didn't even have a medical bot on hand.

Eventually dinner came around, or at least the time he hoped was dinner, and Ben stumbled back to the bed. He could walk around the small room without feeling tired, but his legs still felt oddly sore. It must have been a combination of healing from the heavy physical exercise he had done the week before, followed by not using them again for a whole week while he lay unconscious. It gave them a very strange rubbery feeling that he hoped would pass quickly.

He didn't have to wait long for Joie to come back. And he put on an innocent face and hoped that she wouldn't suspect that he had been out of bed, going against the promise that he had made earlier. He turned to look at the door and his face faltered a little as he saw that she was not alone. Behind Joie came a very cheerful girl. It was Thara and her face lit up with joy at the sight of him. He could not reciprocate the feeling.

She bounded over to him and stopped short of the bed looking him over with a look of blatant concern on her face. Ben had been certain that she was going to try to hug him or touch him in some way but she kept a respectful distance from him.

"Joie said that it would be alright if I came to see you. She said that you were finally awake. We had all been so worried! That sickness must have been really terrible." She looked so sincere and heartfelt as she said it that he was slightly overcome. He was not used to someone being so genuinely concerned and it made me uncomfortable.

He looked away and shrugged, not meeting her gaze. "It wasn't that bad, it's not like I was dying. I just got a little sick that's all." This was not true of course but for some reason he did not want to worry the girl more than she already was.

Thara did not look convinced but instead looked as if she was near tears. Ben stared at her not knowing what to do, girls were too strange for him to deal with. So he tried to offer a small smile to reassure her. _Please don't cry_ , he thought to himself.

It seemed to be enough and her face lit up and she smiled back at him. It was almost as if she had never been near tears. At least a smile was better than a face full of tears. However she reached out and grabbed his arm, almost as if she was going to pull him into a hug. It was such a sudden movement that it startled him and he jumped a little. But he didn't try to pull away. In fact he did not know what to feel. If a hug meant that much to her he would bear it.

She pulled him into an embrace that was tighter than he would have wanted. He gave her back a few tentative pats and pulled away and luckily she let him go. But she did smile widely at him as if she was extremely happy.

Joie meanwhile had set down the tray of food and was waiting patiently for Thara to step away from her patient. She had a slightly amused expression on her face, as if she knew something that he didn't.

"Don't grab him so roughly he still needs to rest. He is weaker than he was when you first met him." She said with a slight reproach, as if she was a mother chastising a child for playing too harshly with a puppy. But Thara looked admonished and backed away from him, giving him enough room to wiggle away if she tried to reach for him again.

Ben did not mind that Joie was here. He wished that he had known that Thara was coming, he could have feigned a relapse so he wouldn't have to deal with any visitors. But she was here now, and if he acted sick she might take away the food. And it did look more substantial than it had for the previous meals.

Joie picked up the tray again and sat it at the foot of the bed, it looked like there were three full meals on it this time. Apparently the girls would be sharing a meal with him. He was torn between feeling annoyed and also being excited for the company. Granted it would be better if it had just been with Joie, but the meal would not last forever. And maybe Thara would be a pleasant dinner companion.

Luckily he was right about that. Thara stared at him wide eyed and giggled occasionally, but she was surprisingly silent. She seemed to content to stare at Ben, which was fine with him as long as she was not being annoying.

They both sat on small chairs that were more like stools and ate their food. Ben sat on the bed and let his legs dangle over the sides as he ate. The evening meal was some kind of strange dish he was not familiar with, it was something with noodles and broth that tasted faintly of chicken even though he was sure it was not chicken. It even had some of the pink vegetable in the broth that he and his uncle had eaten out in the forest.

Joie sat her plate of food down and cleared her throat. "I think that with how fast you are recovering that you can go back to your room tomorrow. But you shouldn't do any kind of training until three days after that. Do you think you could do that?" She asked him softly.

Ben nodded with a mouth full of food. "I can do that, I'm tired of being locked up in this place." HE answered honestly.

Joie smiled at his honesty. "I don't blame you, it can get boring here. I would visit more often but I'm the only one here with any medical training. I'm usually running all over the temple applying bandages to cuts and bruises."

Ben just nodded as he finished swallowing his food. "It must be hard, doing this all by yourself." He went back to eating and wished he had more, but he couldn't overburden his stomach just yet.

Joie smiled warmly and nodded, "It's not so bad. I'm learning more here than I ever could at home. There are no schools are medical facilities near where my family lives. I'm happy for the opportunity to learn what I can, before a university accepts me into their medical program." She said it cheerfully with a hopefulness in her voice. It surprised him that she had no medical training before this, was there anyone here who was a professional besides his uncle?

Thinking about his Uncle he realized that he had not thought about the older man since he first woke up. He had not even crossed his mind. But he had never even come by to check on his nephew. _He must have better things to do, more important matters_ he thought with a stab of bitterness.

"What happened to my Uncle? Why hasn't he come to visit me," Ben asked trying to keep his voice steady. He tried to tell himself that he was not hurt by the lack of visitation, but that he was just making an obvious inquiry.

Thara looked surprised and shot a glance at Joie, and the older girl gave him a pained and sympathetic look. She sat down her bowl and reached into her robes, pulling out a small device that looked like some kind of recorder. Ben could guess who had given it to her.

"Your Uncle left a few hours after you first were admitted. He sent a correspondence this morning and I promised to give it to you. He said he was sorry he couldn't stay, but there was some urgent matter he had to attend too." She placed the small device on the blankets next to him.

Ben stared at it but made no move to pick it up. He would look at it later when they had left. "Thank you," he said calmly. The boy resumed eating and focused on the task until the bowl was empty.

Both the girls looked at him expectantly and he wondered if he was expected to say something. "Thank you for the meal," he said finally wondering if he was being rude.

Thara giggled at him and took his bowl and placed it back on the tray. Joie gathered up the rest of the empty bowls and picked everything up to take back to the mess hall.

"There are also some other messages from your family. Your mother is one of them, and some young boy named Poe." Joie mentioned as she started walking to the door.

Ben sighed inwardly. He wasn't sure if he would listen to those messages. He was mostly interested in what his Uncle had left him in the message.

"Also, there is a message from someone named Snoke?" Joie said with her brows twisting in slight confusion. "Is he a relative or friend of yours? He seemed like he was a politician."

Ben felt his heart flutter a little before he responded. "He is an old friend," Ben admitted as he finally picked up the recorder. He was glad now that he had waited to watch these messages in private.

"Thank you again for the meal Joie," he said again. She smiled softly at him and Thara giggled and waved at him.

"Bye Ben!" she said in a high pitched voice. Ben was already looking away so he did not see Thara blush as she left the room.

His eyes were focused on the device in his hand, and his heart beat loudly against his ribs, as he wondered what messages it contained.


	12. Chapter 12

He waited till it was fully night before he even tried to look at the messages that were left for him. The odds that someone was eavesdropping were very slim, but he didn't want to take any chances. The moon was full tonight and it illuminated the small room just enough for him to see what he was doing. Ben did not bother to turn on any lights. Let anyone outside assume that he was sleeping and resting from his illness.

He held the small device gingerly and studied it in the dim light of the moon. It was an older device but he knew how it worked. With one last look around the room he activated the device and let it cycle through the messages it contained.

The first one was of his uncle. It showed his uncle in a tiny perfect holographic image. His uncle looked distracted in the image as he recorded his message, he could sense the tension even through the recording.

"Ben, I'm sorry that I will not be there for when you wake up. There was an urgent matter that I had to attend too, but as soon as this is concluded I will return and start your training again," The image paused as if it was considering what to say next. "While I am away I want you to continue your meditation. Learning anything else is secondary compared to learning to center yourself."

Ben listened dispassionately while the message played. He knew that he should be glad that his uncle was gone. But part of him also resented his absence, it reminded him too much of his own father.

His uncle continued, "When I am able I will send you another message. Until then please take care of yourself." And with that the message ended. It seemed that his uncle did not seem to think that he was mature enough to know why he had left. It was all very intentionally vague.

The device made a small clicking noise as it cycled to the next message. This time the message came from his mother. An uncomfortable knot of emotion formed at the back of his throat but he ignored it and concentrated on the message.

His mother was seated, and he realized with annoyance that she was not alone. Poe was with her and he looked just as insufferably cheerful like always. His father was not there, but that did not surprise him.

In the holographic image his mother smiled up at him before speaking. "Ben, I hope that when you see this message that you are doing well. I know that this transition will not be an easy one. But I want you to know that I love you and miss you."

Ben listened and rubbed his temples, he stopped the message before it could be continue instead stared out the window. There was no need for him to listen to the rest of it he knew. She had sent him off to a far off planet because she had been scared of him. No recorded messages of her love for him would ever chance the truth of that matter.

He didn't have to listen to the message. It would most likely not contain any important information. But still he could not bring himself to delete it. Instead he held the device in his hand and simply skipped it instead. He could listen to it later.

The message that he really needed to hear was the one from his true master. He should have listened to it first. He was not sure why he had put it off till now.

Ben skipped over the message from his mother and Poe and played the one from Snoke. The image that appeared was only a hologram but part of Ben cringed away from it. Even his image seemed to hold some kind of power over him. The hologram stared at him intensely as if it were actually meeting his gaze.

There was a second of silence before Snoke spoke in his deep recorded voice. "You will need to be ready. In a week they will come to you." And with that simple sentence the message suddenly ended. Still, the true meaning of that message rang in his ears. To someone who did not know either Ben or Snoke it would seem strangely enigmatic and brief. But he knew exactly who "they" were and what would happen once they got there.

His heart started hammering in his chest and he could not be sure if he was excited or scared by this news. Either way there was no way he would sleep tonight. In only a week, one way or another, he would be free of this place. Perhaps his Uncles sudden leaving was all part of the plan, one that he hadn't been told about. He certainly wouldn't put it past his master. In the grand game that he was playing he always seemed to be several steps ahead of his enemies. Laying out traps and half concealed treachery that his opponents would not see until it was far too late to save themselves. Having the one and only Jedi in the galaxy leave at this time was too much of a coincidence.

One day Ben might have a mind that worked like his masters.' For now he was far too weak and pitiful to be anything other than a tool for his master. Age and training would be his only hope of every matching Snoke, or his grandfather.

Despite the hammering in his chest he forced himself to crawl into the bed. He did not close his eyes though. Instead he stared at the ceiling in the darkness trying to force himself to stay still and rest his body even if his mind would not stop working. He was making fast progress from his illness but he was still weaker than he was when he first came to the temple. Tomorrow he would be able to go back to his room. And he could walk openly and train and strengthen himself for the tasks that lay ahead.

Morning came a few hours later and, as he had predicted, he had not slept at all. Instead he had entered a kind of meditative state as he lay in the bed. Because of this his body felt refreshed but his mind felt muddy and clouded. He would need real sleep sometime today.

As soon as the morning light started to seep in through the window he was out of bed. Pulling on clothes and shoes felt good to him, even though they were new Jedi padawan robes. It just felt good to know that he would be moving around again. He had finished dressing himself when there came a tentative knock on the door. Ben turned to the door but said nothing, he knew who it would be anyway.

Joie opened the door and her eyes widened at the sight of him up and fully dressed. She smiled as well, and Ben noticed that there were dark circles under her eyes. It was very noticeable since her skin was so fair.

"I'm glad you're up and awake. I thought you might actually want to go to the cafeteria this time instead of eating breakfast in bed." She said as she stood there with her hands clasped in front of her.

Ben shrugged as if he did not care, though actually he was happy he did not have to eat another meal in the narrow bed. Though he was not looking forward to seeing so many of the other students today.

"I'd love too. I'm always hungry," he said a little jokingly. It was true, he was always hungry. But then many teenage boys could eat their own weight in food it seemed. The temple probably went through a ton of food feeding so many growing bodies.

Joie seemed pleased though, which also pleased him. It might his last chance to spend time with her alone. After today he would need to isolate himself from the others. It would make what was coming easier to handle _. At least Joie will be safe_ , he thought to himself, _she is not a padawan here_.

The walk to the cafeteria was actually a pleasant one. Neither of them talked but instead enjoyed the walk in silence. The air was crisp feeling and fresh, with the promise of being hotter later today as the sun rose in the sky. Everything seemed so still and peaceful.

At the cafeteria however everything was already bustling. Food was already prepared and waiting for the students, and from the look of things most of them were already there enjoying their breakfast. He immediately spotted Cavan, Hilab, and Thara all sitting at the same table. They waved at him and Joie enthusiastically, and ben cursed under his breath as he realized that he would be forced to join them. He tried to pick another table but Joie was already walking towards the others. So he followed and sat down at the small table, sandwiched between the quiet Joie and the overly cheerful Thara.

Cavan immediately clapped him on the back and smiled at him, "You had us all worried! You were really sick. I'm glad to see you on your feet again," Cavan said cheerfully.

Ben forced a smile even though he disliked being touched. The other boy really did remind him too much of Poe.

"It wasn't that bad. It was kind of restful actually," Ben said nonchalantly as he twirled his fork in his food. It was a meal he could not identify but it certainly smelled delicious. For a small establishment the cooks always seemed to be spot on.

Cavan grinned his perfect smile and even Thara giggled appreciatively at his response. "Well, it scared all of us. It has been awhile since someone was that sick. It might have been the weird flu that this planet seems to be famous for." Cavan said as he took a bite of his own meal.

"Of all the things this planet had to be famous for, why did it have to be some kind of jungle flu," Ben said solemnly as he started to eat.

Thara giggled at him as he said that, she was not eating at all but seemed to be very intensely staring at Ben. The boy looked back at her curiously. What was she staring at?

Joie saw her expression and gently chided her. "Thara you should eat, don't let it go to waste and let Ben eat his meal. Today is his last day of rest before he starts training again."

Tharas' eyes widened at the comment but started to eat her food, only occasionally staring at Ben and giggling. Ben was grateful for the silence. He felt his body already starting to wear out. Not getting any sleep last night was finally taking a toll on his body.

The others chatted amicably with each other while he rushed through his meal. He was hungry and tried and desperately wanted to be alone. When he finished with his meal it was easy to excuse himself, his classmates and Joie all reiterated that he would need his rest and didn't press him further.

He left the cafeteria quickly and made his way back to the temple with his tiny room. It did not really feel like his own place, as this would only be the second day in the space. He had spent more time in the infirmary or sleeping out in the woods than he had here. But still, he was happy to have a place where he could be alone. As soon as he was in the room he closed the door securely behind him and blocked the door with the clothes chest. It was properly paranoid of him but he did not want to chance anyone walking in on him. Ben settled himself down to rest and make a plan. He needed to get a message to Snoke, but he would have to wait until dark to do it. He knew that if anyone caught him using the communication equipment they would stop him. And so, with a small sigh, he waited for nightfall.


	13. Chapter 13

Sleep was easy as his still healing body demanded it. Still, he woke up several times as the day wore on as people would come to his door and knock. He had slept through lunch and someone had come to check on him, asking if he wanted dinner. Ben briefly thought about staying silent until they left, but if he was silent they might think something had happened and try to come in. Reluctantly he would answer and say he was fine, and no he wasn't hungry, and he just needed rest.

It was actually true about him not being hungry. He was more tired than he had realized, and his body was more demanding of sleep than it was of nourishment. For the first time in his life he has no appetite at all. So he slept away the entire day, only becoming fully awake as the sun began to set on the horizon. It was the time he had waited for anyway.

He lay as still as possible, just leaning his head against the stiff pillow that had come with the narrow bed. Outside his room he could hear the sounds of others walking down the hall, the muffled sounds of voices and laughter. They stopped almost completely once it was fully dark as the students settled into their beds and let sleep take them. Outside his window he could hear the nocturnal creatures scuttling around. In the hallway there was silence. Still he waited.

Once the moon high in the night sky did he decide it was safe to move. He left his shoes off so that he would be silent as he walked down the hallway and he changed into the darkest robe he owned, which was a dusky brown, but it would have to do. He also did not take a light source with him. The hallway was a straight shot so it would not be hard to navigate in the darkness even if he could not see.

Ben opened the door slowly so as not to make a sound. It was mercifully silent and there was no one in the darkened hallway. It appeared to be all clear. Gently he closed the door behind him, letting it sink back slowly against the frame so that there was not a chance of a sound. With one last glance alone the length of the hallway he started walking. He kept his footfalls as soft as possible, but with no shoes on he was completely silent.

He left the temple without incident, he crouched low and stayed close to the shadows. The night air felt good against his skin, cool and refreshing. And the dirt between his toes felt surprisingly pleasant. The building that he knew was used for communication was, thankfully, close to the temple. In a few minutes he was at the door to the building, and with one last look around to make sure he was alone he pushed open the door.

The door was not locked, he did not think that it would be, as there seemed to be no locks anywhere on the whole compound. The Jedi must be a very trusting sort. But then since they were in the middle of nowhere there was nothing to protect themselves from. Either way he was thankful for that, and he quickly settled into the building.

He didn't bother to turn on the lights. There was enough light from the many blinking consoles that he did not need it. It cast an eerie light on everything, but it was better if it remained dark for what he needed to do.

His master would be waiting. He could feel it in his bones, as if his master was sending out a signal in the force telling him to contact him. And like a good apprentice he had obeyed. The communication equipment was old. Older than he would have anticipated. It made him realize that the whole Jedi foundation was a very ram shackle operation. It was so far removed from its former glory on Coruscant that it seemed laughable. But if his master had his plans come to fruition this was as far as they would ever come.

And Ben was going to be a part of it. As he typed in the command controls he sat back and waited. His heart was hammering and he kept looking over his shoulder, waiting to be discovered by a padawan. If he was caught now there was nothing that he could use an excuse. And he would have no idea what his punishment would be. His uncle would be told, and he could not have that happen.

As the communication link fizzed with static he was in fear of losing it completely, a small holographic image appeared in front of him. He knew that Snoke was looking him right in the eyes. His gaze was dark and brooding, and he could only guess as to what his master was thinking.

"Master," Ben managed to stammer out, "I have felt your summons and I have answered." Ben hung his head down wishing he could kneel, but the room was too narrow and filled with equipment to really do that comfortably.

Snoke stared at him for a few more tense moments and Ben felt his heart rate increase. He even started to sweat. He always lived in absolute fear of offending his master. It was like trying to placate a starving monster, and Ben was certain that even the slightest transgression would mean his death.

Finally Snoke spoke, "Have you received my previous message my apprentice?" Snoke asked with a deep voice that was surprisingly for such a thin looking face and body.

Ben breathed sigh of relief that his master had finally spoken, "Yes my master, and I am ready for their arrival. My uncle, I mean the Jedi master Skywalker, is gone. All will be prepared for the arrival." He stammered a response, kicking himself mentally for accidently referring to Luke with a familial title.

Snoke simply stated at him and the moment passed. If he was angry then he hid it well, as he did with all his emotions, except for anger of course.

"In a week when they arrive they will make sure that the Jedi threat is neutralized. Be ready. We will have no further communication, but you will know when they are near." Snoke said with authority and one last penetrating stare at Ben, and suddenly the communication ended.

Ben had a moment of shock thinking that the communication had been cut off by a malfunction, but then he realized that his master had simply ended it abruptly. His breath left his body with a loud sigh. He worshiped his master but he feared him even more. Fear could be fuel, be he hoped it would not impede his training when he met Snoke in the flesh again. He would be stronger by then, he would make sure he was.

He crept out of the communication building with as much care as he had snuck into the place. The hard drives were wiped clean of their last communication so that if someone were to check on recent communications his talk with Snoke would not be discovered. Everything was set back to how it had been before and only then did he leave.

Getting back into the temple was as easy as it had been the first time. The students at the academy must all be heavy sleepers he surmised. Which was excellent for him, but he did not think that he would have to sneak out again before the arrival of his rescuers.

He lay back down on the bed and started at the ceiling. He was willing his body to relax, for his breath to slow. It was easy to enter a meditative state as he lay still. There were a few hours left before the sun arose. The extra sleep would do his body good, he intended to train as hard as possible for what lay ahead. His skills with a saber were at least on par with the other Jedi padawans. But he was certain that they were not of the same caliber of Cavan or Hilab. The thought of those boys made him grit his teeth in anger. He would not lose to them. If he took them unawares he might stand a chance against them.

Ben closed his eyes and entered further into his meditative trance. Though his inner thoughts were not turned to the light at all. In his heart he nurtured the hatred that he found there. All his fears about inadequacy and the pain of being ignored, he used them to feed the flames of his hatred. It kept a pleasant warmth alive in his chest. It was faintly erotic, but mostly it made him feel powerful. What use were things like duty and honor in the face of all-encompassing hate? Hate would always win, it was powerful and it lurked in the heart of all living beings. A faint smile crept onto his face before he drifted off into a dreamless sleep. The Jedi never stood a chance against him or his master.


	14. Chapter 14

The sun had barely started to rise and Ben was already awake before it even had a chance to shine in through the window. It was a gray and weak light that finally did shine through the window. It seemed as if the light itself was tired. He had slept enough, and his body was anxious to start moving again. He also wanted to get to the showers before any of the other boys started to filter in. His body felt like it was filled with a nervous energy and movement would be a way to channel that energy.

He had timed it just right, he had finished his morning shower was pulling on his clean clothes just as the first boys started to walk in. He nodded at them and hurried outside, not giving any of them the chance to strike up a conversation. Luckily there was no sign of Cavan, Thara, Hilab or anyone else that he was on a conversational level with. Peace and quiet was something that he was still craving. If he went back to his room and just stayed there all day would anyone even come to bother him? They probably would. He had been locked up for too long, he needed to get his body back in shape if he was going to be ready for what was ahead of him.

The morning air outside was strangely still and there was a light fog that hung in the air, giving a muted look to the surroundings. He hoped that the fog persisted all day, it helped to hide him and he felt more at ease.

The first part of his day was to find some breakfast. He had not eaten since last night and he was paying for it. His stomach was growling angrily at him. Food was not something that he intended to skip today. The walk to the cafeteria was quick and uneventful. He was also the first one there. The downside was that the cooking staff was still preparing the morning meal. There was nothing else to do but wait until they were done.

He sat down and stared off into the distance. The fog was deepening and he wondered what that would mean for the rest of day. Would the training be canceled? He hoped not, he wanted to do some physical training today. Despite the sickness that had over taken him, he was thinner because of it; but he could feel the new muscle beneath his skin. It made him feel powerful. He stretched his arms over his head, stretching, and his whole body was still shaking with nervous energy. There was a feeling in the air of anticipation. He felt the need to act, on anything, if only to prove to himself that he had done something besides being useless or sick.

The fog was even heavier now. It was thick enough that he could not see the temple from where he sat. People would get lost in this he was certain. Hopefully everyone was familiar with their surroundings by now. As the newbie the person who would get lost most easily was him, so he would need to stay close to the places he was familiar with. The thought of getting lost and wandering back in to the forest was not one that he relished.

A few minutes passed he was aware of people moving through the fog towards the cafeteria. He could just make out their forms in the fog as they walked closer. He grimaced a little, he was enjoying the solitude and he didn't want anyone to break that up just yet. But there was no helping it now. He sat and watched as the figures kept getting closer. As they finally made it out of the fog he saw that it was Cavan, but the rest of the students he did not know.

Cavan smiled at him and walked over to join him at the table. Inwardly Ben groaned but outwardly he gave a halfhearted smile and wave back at him.

As he had feared Cavan came and settled next to him at the table. Cavan smiled at Ben with his handsome face and lightheartedly clapped him on the back.

"You look much better today. Do you think you're up to some more training today?" He asked curiously. Cavan brushed his hair away from his face and gave Ben another smile.

Ben nodded eagerly, actually looking forward to the prospect of any physical activity. "I am. I think if I don't get some exercise I might lose more muscle mass." He said in a sudden burst of honesty.

Cavan looked over Ben with a critical eye. "I don't think that you look like you lost any muscle. But you are thinner then when you first arrived," He said almost apologetically.

Ben just shrugged. There was no denying the truth in that. He would need to take better care of himself from now on.

"Do you think that you would be up for sparing today?" Cavan asked him enthusiastically. But his smile faltered as he looked around at the thickening fog. "If this keeps up we might not be able to train. We won't be able to see anything." He said with sigh.

Ben looked around as well, taking in the thick fog that now nearly encompassed the whole temple and the surrounding grounds. It was thick enough that he could no longer see more than five feet in front of him. From the looks of it the mist was set to only get even denser. It was beautiful in a way. There was never fog this thick on his home world. He liked it actually, he felt more at ease knowing that it would be harder for others to see him.

"We should still train. Just the two of us. This could be good experience, it would prepare us. Not all fights will happen in the light of day with a clear line of sight," Ben said softly. It was true of course. And he was itching to try his sparing skills, and the fog might actually work towards his advantage against the more experienced Cavan.

Cavan looked back at him as he spoke and he smiled again. "You're right. We should use this as an opportunity to prepare our fighting skills." He even looked enthusiastic about it.

Ben gave what he hoped was an equally enthusiastic smile, but inwardly he kept his true thoughts to himself. If he managed to wound Cavan in their sparing fight, he could incapacitate him so when the Knights of Ren arrived; he would be less of a threat.

 _Or I could just kill him, make it look like an accident. In this fog everyone might believe me too_ , he thought to himself. His pulse quickened at the thought of it. But no, he could not kill a student, not yet. If there was a death his Uncle would surely come running back. And any trust, or at least polite indifference, that he had earned from the others would be lost. It was better to just wound him. He could finish the older boy later.

While he was lost in thought others arrived at the table, and they all lost themselves in conversation. Ben tried to follow along if only to seem less distracted. The food was finally ready and they all ate it quickly, trying to finish as fast as they could as the fog kept growing thicker and thicker. By the time the meal was cleared away visibility was down to less than a foot. It was perfect for what Ben had planned.

Ben turned to Cavan and spoke, "I don't think I can find the training area in this fog, I'm going to have to follow you."

It was true, with the visibility so low he knew that he could not find anything in this fog. Even finding his way back to the temple might be impossible in this fog. If he did not know which direction to go in he would easily get turned around.

Cavan looked around at the surrounding fog and his brow furrowed as he concentrated. "As long as we head in that direction," he pointed to a direction behind Bens' head, "we should hit the training field. There should still be sparing equipment on the field."

He turned and looked to see where he was pointing. Maybe he wouldn't need to follow Cavan after all. He vaguely remembered where the field was, and if he kept walking in a straight line he would be alright. Finding his way back would be more difficult.

Ben was eager to be off, and he stood up and stretched, still looking at the direction that Cavan had pointed. The fog was so thick that it seemed like it could be cut with a knife, it made the air feel wet and heavy and it had an unhealthy feeling as he breathed it into his lungs.

Behind him the other students muttered to themselves as they all surveyed the fog. It seemed that no one would be joining them today. It suited him just fine. Let the others walk back to the temple and stay safe in their rooms. The fog made him feel strangely at ease, it was comforting and concealing.

He started walking in the direction that Cavan had pointed and didn't look back to see if he was being followed. If he did not follow then Ben would continue on alone, but just a few seconds after he disappeared in the fog he could hear the footsteps of the other teenager behind him. Even the sounds seemed oddly muted in the fog, he realized that he could not even hear the sounds of the animals that usually ran freely in the woods. The fog had put the whole world on mute.

His body was still brimming with energy, and he found himself smiling in the fog. It felt safe to do so as no one could see him. He felt at home in the concealment of the heavy mist. Part of him hoped that this would last for days. Until then he would make the most of it.


	15. Chapter 15

The training field was completely deserted. It was perfect, perhaps the fog was some kind of omen. A portent that he was on the right path, or perhaps a gift from the dark side of the force. Either way, he breathed in the thick miasma of the fog; he immediately started coughing.

The fog as it grew thicker was taking on characteristics that he was not familiar with. It was more like a miasma and breathing it in was becoming more and more difficult. For the first time he felt a sting of unease. It was possible that he could get sick from being out in this fog. Even animals that he could not see could be scurrying about in the mist. Granted, he had not encountered much wildlife so far. And the things that he had seen seemed relatively harmless. But that could change in these conditions.

It was too late to go back now. He had made the decision to incapacitate Cavan and he did not want to go back on his plan. He had spent too much time being useless, and he needed to do something to prove to himself that he was actually capable of following through. Fog be damned he would see it through to the end.

Cavan came up beside him. He had sensed instead of seeing the other boy appear. In fact, his eyes might be a liability right now. Ben would have to lend his trust to his under cultivated senses to actually stand a chance against the other boy.

While Ben ruminated on his own thoughts Cavan walked confidently back in the fog, reappearing in a few seconds with two wooden practice swords. They were blunt of course, and the handle was padded to protect the hands of those who were training with them. Luckily they looked heavy as well. A well placed blow would surely break a bone or two.

Cavan tossed one of the swords to Ben, who caught it in one smooth motion and held it up to his eyes to get a better look. It was old and pockmarked with constant use. But for what he needed it would suit him just fine. With a few swings he got the weight of the thing and gripped it tightly with his right hand.

Out of the corner of his eye he saw that Cavan was doing the same thing. He also took note of the fact that Cavan was right handed. Good. That was the arm that he could focus on breaking. With a broken sword hand he would be almost entirely incapacitated in the fight.

If he was actually able to break the other boys arm. Despite his young age he had been trained with a saber but not to the extent that Cavan had been trained. He was actually even better with a blaster. His father had taught him that as soon as he was old enough to hold one properly. The saber training he had received had been piece meal at best, and he had taught himself everything else himself.

Perhaps feigning ignorance would be to his best advantage. If Cavan thought he was completely inept he would let his guard down. When he did it would be his chance to strike the disabling blow.

"I don't know too much about how to fight with these," Ben said with a hesitant voice. He was trying to sound nervous, which wasn't too far of a stretch. "You'll have to go easy on me."

In the fog he could sense more than see the look that Cavan gave him. "You seemed to catch the sword with ease when I tossed it to you, I thought that Luke had said that you had some basic training before now?" Cavan asked curiously.

Ben swallowed as his heartrate increased, he shouldn't have caught the sword so easily. And Cavan was too clever to not have seen the ease to which he held the fake weapon.

The teen shrugged trying to look nonchalant. "I do have some, but it was months ago. And I never got trained by anyone who actually knew what they were doing." It sounded plausible enough and he hoped that Cavan would buy it.

Cavan walked closer to Ben so that their vision was no longer obscured. He could see that the other boy had a slight smile.

"I understand, it's hard to find anyone that knows how to properly use anything that's not a blaster. We will just take it easy for now. I don't like this fog anyway, it's getting thicker than I have seen it before. It might not be healthy to stay in this for long. So we will make it quick, yeah? When it clears up we can both better train."

Ben quickly agreed. The fog was causing him to get light headed. Nothing would get accomplished if he got sick from this. Then he'd be back to being useless again. It was like trying to breath in water at this point. He was already sweating and he stripped off his robe and shirt, leaving him standing bare chested in the air. It felt better already, and losing the clothes would enable him to move faster.

He took the moment to rest and gather his thoughts. Cavan was stretching and preparing himself for what he thought would be a friendly spare. Ben wanted to stretch too but he needed to perpetuate the lie that he was inept. Instead he looked at Cavan with polite indifference waiting for him to finish. Mentally he was building himself up, using his well of anger to fuel him for the fight. The other boy would be taken completely by surprise.

After finishing his stretches Cavan turned and faced Ben, his stance was loose and his position was not as guarded as it should be. It was easy for Ben to see that the other boy was not taking this seriously at all. It was perfect. Let him continue to assume that until it was too late.

"I'm ready if you are," Cavan said with a confident flair. Of course he was confident, he thought he was the superior fighter here. In his mind he had nothing to be worried about.

Ben nodded, not bothering to waste energy on words, and he made a very half-hearted lunge at his opponent. Cavan laughed lightly and moved out of the way with ease. He even lightly clipped Ben on the shoulder with the wood sword, a light slap that would have been playful in another situation but sent Ben into an immediate rage. But he couldn't lost control, not yet, he had to make sure that Cavan was completely unguarded to deal a devastating blow.

Ben lunged again, and again, swiping ineffectually to make it seem like he had no clue about what he was doing. Each time Cavan swiftly stepped aside with a grin, lightly slapping Ben as he did so. He had slapped his back, and his thigh, and his shoulder with each side step as Ben came at him. It was obvious that it was all a game to him. Now was the time to strike.

Ben lunged once more with a fake battle cry. The older boy side stepped just as easily as before, this time laughing sharply at Ben's inept battle cry. He dropped his guard as Ben sailed past him into the fog, he even had time to land a stinging blow on his upper back as he laughed. It was the moment that he had been waiting for.

Ben turned on his heel and faced Cavan before he had a chance to turn around. Bringing his sword up in a defensive position, he dealt a swift upward cutting strike with the wood sword. In the blow he put his entire weight and strength. He was giving everything he had into this one blow. If he missed he would not get another chance. Ben would not need another chance.

The sword connected directly on Cavans' right elbow. He both felt and heart a very sick and satisfying crunch as it shattered bone. Ben smirked as the other boy was immediately down on the ground crying in pain. Cavan gripped his arm in a pitiful embrace as if holding it would lessen the pain from the broken bone.

Ben tossed the wood sword away and knelt next to his fallen foe. "I'm sorry! It was an accident!" Ben cried out in what he hoped was a convincingly remorseful tone.

Cavan couldn't say anything as his eyes filled with tears from the pain, and they finally rolled over white and he stopped moving. For one brief moment Ben was certain that he had killed the other boy. That thought filled him with both fear and a small amount of guilt. If he was dead there would be no way for him to conceal his death. A message would be sent to his uncle and the Jedi would return, and all of the machinations of his master would be ruined. The thought of being the cause of his masters' plans coming to ruin sent a deep chill straight down to his bones. Ben reached out and tried to find a pulse on the boys neck, willing the other to not be dead; just wounded like he had intended.

But the boy was not dead, he had simply passed out from the pain. His breathing was ragged and shallow, in his panic he had not noticed at first, and a thin trail of blood leaked out of his mouth where he had assumed the padawan had bit his lip in his thrashing.

Ben looked up and away from Cavan, but there was no sign of anyone else. In the fog, which was a pure opaque white at this point, there was no help to be found. And it was getting worse, he felt real fear at this point. And he couldn't leave him here, it would look too suspicious if he did not try to help him.

With a frustrated groan Ben picked up Cavan and held him firmly against his chest like a child. The medical building was not too far, and Joie would be there to tend to him. He could practice being remorseful before he had to face an awake and angry Cavan.

Ben took off in the direction of the medical building, or he hoped it was the right direction. He had to stop a few times to gather his bearings and eventually he gave up trying to see with his eyes. The fog was actually starting to sting his eyes. Whatever this miasma was composed of he wished it to go back to the abyss from where it had been birthed. He closed his eyes and felt out with the force, sensing the energy of those who were nearby. It seemed most of the students were in the temple. All of them safe and accounted for. However, he could sense the energy of Joie who was perhaps no more than a hundred yards away. That must be where the building was hiding.

Holding Cavan a little more tightly against his chest he increased his pace. The boy was getting heavier with each step. Out of the mist the medical building appeared like some kind of oasis rising from the ground. Ben slung the unconscious boy over one shoulder so he could open the door and rushed them both inside.

The building was, as he had suspected, empty except for Joie. She looked up at them both, startled, her eyes wide with the sudden intrusion. She had been seated and reading a book which she dropped as soon as she saw Cavan slung over his shoulder.

She pointed to the empty bed that just a few days ago Ben had occupied, "Put him down there." She said with authority as she turned to the shelves of medicines behind her and started selecting a few jars and vials.

Ben complied quickly. He set the boy down, not too gently, and stepped away beginning to cough. Now that he was out of the fog he realized how unwholesome it had been. His lungs were demanding fresh air and he gulped it down, anything to get that terrible substance out of his lungs.

"What happened? Did he collapse from the fog? No one was supposed to be out there in this, I was warning the other students all morning." She rushed to Cavan and saw that his arm was broken and twisted.

She shot Ben a questioning. "How did this happen? Did he fall?" She asked as she gingerly prodded the boys' broken elbow. "The bone is shattered."

Ben tried to meet her eye. "We were, I mean, we had both wanted to practice. I didn't think that the fog would be a problem. It was an accident," He stammered out an explanation.

Joie shot him a look that was only slightly reproachful. "That was not a smart thing to do. But it's not your fault, fog like this is a rare occurrence on this planet. I think that I was the only one who actually knew what this all meant."

She cut away the cloth surrounding the broken elbow and injected a slew of shots into the boys' upper arm. Pain killers and antibiotics he assumed. Cavan was still thankfully passed out. He did not relish the idea of a screaming and crying padawan in such a small space.

"I can fix this. But Cavan is not going to be able to use this arm for a month, even with the resources that I have." Joie grimaced as she spoke. "He needs to be taken into the nearest town. There might be medical bot that could do him better."

Now that the arm was exposed Ben could see that it was well and truly shattered. Cavans' face was very pale and drawn, he would be needing pain killers for a long time to recuperate from this injury. In his drug induced sleep his face twitched lightly. Ben was actually very pleased with himself. He had been good enough to fool the other into thinking he was a novice, and then he had been strong enough to break his bones. It would be beyond the skill of Joie to fix on her own which had been his intention.

While Ben was thinking to himself Joie fastened a breathing mask over Cavans' face. "You are both going to need to breathe some good clean oxygen to get that miasma out of your lungs." Joie said as she stepped away from the injured teen, bending over and grasping another face mask; holding it outstretched to Ben.

Ben took it and affixed it to his own face as Joie busied herself with Cavan. His eyes watched her and he felt a contentment again. It might be Joie herself and her calm energy, or the fact that he had actually been useful for once. For now he was happy to sit and breathe the oxygen, letting it purge his system of that terrible fog. Perhaps the fog had been a portent. He might not have been able to do what he had done without it.

Joie was busy injecting various things into Cavan and Ben watched, keeping out of the way as much as he could. But he could not go far as he was still wearing the oxygen mask, which was still linked to the oxygen tank near the bed. Because of that he got a first row view as Joie began to set and bandage the broken arm. It was gruesome at first, the sound it made as she did her best to wrestle it back into place; following by the stiches where the bone had poked through the skin. To him it was fascinating and vaguely erotic. Blood and gore had never bothered him much.

"You can take that mask off now if you want, but don't try and leave the building until the fog has dissipated, okay?" Joie said with a slight strain in her voice. She had not looked at him as she spoke; and she had a faint sheen of sweat from putting Cavan back together. Ben thought that she looked tired, and wondered when the last time she slept had been.

Ben took off the mask and set it back on the oxygen tank gently. "I'll stay until it's safe to leave," he answered her as he stepped away. There was nothing left to do now but wait. He settled himself against the far wall of the building and sat down, folding his legs under him. As he lay his head back against the cool wall he kept his eyes trained on the two people in the room; watching Joie as she did her best to help Bens' unconscious victim.


	16. Chapter 16

Ben had to stay safely ensconced within the medical building for several hours. Outside the building the fog was taking on a consistency like milk. It was so dense that he was certain that, if he touched it, it would quiver like some kind of floating liquid.

Joie was keeping herself busy. Tending to Cavan was absorbing all of her energy and Ben did not want to disturb her. He was rather content to sit and let the entire situation play itself out. During this time Cavan was mercifully kept sedated, for which Ben was thankful. He did not want to talk to the boy once he woke up, or listen to his screams of pain.

Despite being trapped in the building he felt no sense of unease or boredom. He was still very pleased with himself. IT made him feel powerful. He felt like he could do anything.

"Are you getting hungry?" Joie asked from the other side of the room. The sudden conversation made Ben jump slightly, he had been so absorbed in his own thoughts.

"Yes, I'm a little hungry." He admitted as he still sat firmly pressed against the wall of the building. Not bothering to move so he could conserve his energy.

Joie moved away from Cavan and bent down to rummage in a small crate sitting by the bed, when she stood up she tossed Ben a pre-packed meal sealed in silver foil. He caught it without standing or moving more than necessary and examined the package. This would do just fine.

"Thank you," he said as he tore open the foil and examined the food packets within. There was a meat in there, or something that would pass as meat. There was also a packet of nuts and a pastry that would be his dessert. There were crackers as well. Reaching in, he grabbed the crackers first and started chewing. He was not familiar with their texture. They were grainier than others he had eaten but it was still edible of course. The meat was some kind of chicken product that he ate without really tasting it. Following the poultry he consumed the nuts and enjoyed the pleasant crunching that they gave. When the main meal was done he savored the pastry, which was better than he had suspected and tasted faintly of cinnamon and honey.

While Ben was enjoying his rations Joie did not stop to eat. After tending to Cavan for a few more minutes she went to the far corner of the room, where on top of a few stacked crates she had set up a kind of brewing station. He had not noticed it when he was here sick a few days ago. It must be a recent addition. Joie busied herself with boiling water and set out two cups. Ben assumed one of them was for him unless she intended to pour tea all over Cavans' sleeping face. The thought was amusing though, and he grinned a little at his own malicious thought. After the water finished boiling Joie added some leaves to the mixture, probably some kind of tea, and brought one over to Ben.

Ben took one gratefully, but was surprised when Joie sat down next to him on the floor. She didn't say anything but sat cross legged and quietly sipped her tea. Ben watched her and didn't say anything. He was not even sure what to start a conversation about, or if one was even needed.

Joie looked up at him as she took a dainty sip from her cup, "When you're the only medical personnel around I've found that it's good to have hot tea close by."

Ben nodded awkwardly and took a few more sips of his drink. It tasted strongly of mint and it cooled his throat on the way down.

"It is good tea," he said lamely, not sure what else to say. Joie gave a tired half smile and gave a tiny laugh.

"It has a lot of caffeine in it so you might not be able to sleep till it wears off. But it's great for staying up late when you need too." She said slightly apologetically. "It is the only kind that I have."

Ben shrugged, he didn't mind. It was soothing to drink and the caffeine jolt was making him feel more alert.

"How long do you think this fog will last?" He asked, genuinely curious. He did not mind being stuck here with Joie, but eventually they would need more food unless Joie had more rations stashed in the crates.

Joie thought for a minute before answering. "It should be gone by nightfall. When it has come in the past it has not lasted more than twelve hours. So we still have a few more hours to go before we can move around freely outside, but even then everyone should limit their time outside until noon tomorrow. Just to be safe."

Ben finished the tea and sat the cup to the side. Joie saw him finish it and gestured for him to hand her the cup. "Would you like some more?" She asked as she stood up. She made her way make to the small brewing machine and looked over her shoulder at him waiting for an answer.

"Yes, thank you," he answered as he watched her move away. She was graceful in the way she moved. Very purposeful, as if she did not waste any energy on movement that wasn't necessary. Ben thought it made her look very refined.

When she returned with a new cup of tea he accepted it gratefully. The caffeine was having a better effect on him than the food was, even though it should have made him more animated he felt himself growing calmer.

She sat back down next to him and gave him a thoughtful look. "I'm kind of glad that you're here. If I had been here alone waiting for the fog to pass it would have gotten lonely," her face brightened as she grinned, "Though next time try not to bring anyone with broken arms. It's nice to see students that have no injuries come into this building every once in a while."

Ben grinned at her smile, she did have a contagious grin. It made him feel very at ease, which was different than others he had met. He supposed it was just her personality, or maybe her energy. People that Ben felt at ease with were a rare breed. Human interaction was not something that he normally relished having to do. It was far too awkward and energy consuming.

"In that case I promise to not bring any more injured students into your building. From now on they will all be healthy and completely intact," Ben found himself teasing her back.

Joie laughed, "I would appreciate that!" she said laughing. The next few minutes were passed in a comfortable silence. They both seemed content to be in each other's presence and listen to the soft whirring and hum of the medical machines that filled the small room.

Finally Joie spoke again, "I think that enough time has passed. I'll check to see if the fog has dissipated." With that statement Joie stood and stretched, setting aside her empty cup as she walked to the door.

"I'll come too," Ben said as he stood up and started to follow her. If she did succumb to the effects of the fog she might need to be pulled back inside.

Joie gave him a thankful look, "Thanks, but stand a few feet away just so you won't risk getting any more of that miasma into your lungs. Too much of that stuff can be dangerous."

Ben nodded as he waited for her to open the door. Joie covered her mouth with the sleeve of her dress and opened the door slowly. Even from his vantage point a few feet away Ben could see that the fog had greatly dissipated. The fog which had been thick as wall of milk was now just a few sick looking tendrils snaking along about two feet off the ground. Whatever it was made of it seemed to finally be vanishing.

Joie closed the door and stepped away with a sigh, "It looks like it is going away. Thankfully these things never last for long."

Ben raised an eyebrow at her, "Does this happen that often?" If this was a regular occurrence then this place would be a terrible place for a Jedi temple. Maybe that was why it was abandoned in the first place.

Joie shook her head. "No, in my life I've only ever seen it three times. This is the third time. It's just a strange part of the life cycle on this planet," she answered him with a shrug.

"That's good then," Ben said awkwardly. He hoped that if the fog was as rare as Joie made it out to be that he would never see it again. Though useful for hiding in, the effect on his lungs was not worth the pain.

Joie sighed as she checked on Cavan for what seemed like the hundredth time since they had first arrived here. She took his vitals and checked the readings on the machines that he was attached too. Ben looked at them briefly, he did not know how to read them and didn't feel like bothering to learn. Anything pertaining to the medical field was not something that had ever interested him.

She turned to look at him. "I'm going to keep him sedated until the morning. Right now the best thing for his body is to sleep and heal. I really wish I had better supplies here than just these scraps." Joie said with sudden bitterness. She closed her eyes and rubbed her temples as if she was developing a headache.

Ben walked towards her, suddenly concerned, "Are you feeling okay? Maybe you need to rest too?" He asked softly.

Joie smiled at him. "I'll be alright, I'll sleep in a few hours after I give Cavan another sedative before night falls. Speaking of sleep, you should be okay going back to the temple to sleep. Resting in your own bed will give your lungs a chance to heal from the damage they've taken."

Ben nodded, though in reality he didn't want to leave. He felt more at peace around the red headed girl and did not relish the thought of leaving her alone. She would be alright of course, but he still felt slightly uneasy leaving her on her own. _And why should you care about her? Just leave, go sleep, she clearly doesn't want you here_.

The thought made him frown suddenly. He shouldn't have any feelings about the girl anyway. It was too dangerous to care about anyone. It would be better for him to leave her alone to tend to the injured boy. But he still felt that pull towards her, and he felt himself weakening trying to deny it.

"I'll go, but I'll come back to check on Cavan in the morning, if that's alright with you?" He asked Joie with a hopeful voice. Mentally he kicked himself. He should stay away, keep his head down, and wait until his fellow knights of Ren came to save him. But it was too late, he had said the words.

Joie grinned, "That would be fine. Both Cavan and I will look forward to seeing you tomorrow. She really did have a pleasant smile.

"Alright, I will see you tomorrow," He said as he turned towards the door. He did not turn back around to look at her, but walked out confidently into the twilight of the evening. It was later than he had first thought. A deep ache was settling into his body, reminding him in not so gentle ways that he was still healing. He covered his face with his shirt as he saw that a few tenacious tendrils of the fog were still hovering off the ground.

He disliked the fog. But he could not find himself to hate the stuff. After all, it seemed to damage everything that it touched, just like him. Surely he could never hate something with which he had so much in common.


	17. Chapter 17

Ben had thought that everyone at the temple would be asleep, or at least in their rooms as the sun was almost completely set. But he was wrong. Everyone was out in the wide hallways wide awake and all of them seemed to be talking. And it had a carnival type vibe that belied the seriousness of the receding fog outside the building. There was an undercurrent of worry, he could sense that too, but mostly everyone seemed to be in good spirits.

The students who made up the entire school were there in the stone building. Not just the older students who occupied the temple and its' rooms, but also the younger ones were there. Everyone must have been ushered into the temple for safety. It was also the only place big enough to hold everyone comfortably.

Even the cooking staff had relocated their operation into the stone hallways. They had set up some kind of mobile cooking station and were busy making what looked like sandwiches and soups for the students. He had to admire their dedication to making sure the student population never had empty bellies.

In the middle of all this he heard someone call his name. "Ben!" An excited voice said from somewhere in the midst of the students. He turned his attention to the direction where he heard the voice. There was only one person it could be.

Thara burst from the crowd and ran up to him. A smile plastered across her face as she stopped in front of him, she seemed just as bright and upbeat as usual even with the deadly fog hovering outside the temple walls.

Behind her came Hilab, though at a much slower pace, and he gave Ben a brief nod but stopped a few feet away from Thara. Despite the greeting he knew that Hilab was not as excited to see Ben as Thara seemed to be.

"We were worried, you and Cavan had been gone for so long. Where is Cavan?" Thara asked as she looked around, just now realizing that the older teenager was not with him.

Ben looked at Thara and Hilab as he spoke. "His arm is broken. We were sparing, I hit him too hard. The fog, it just clouded my eyes and I broke his arm. It was an accident," he stammered his explanation. It had been easier telling the lie to Joie. At least when he had arrived in the medical tent she had been more focused on helping Cavan than his explanation as to why they were there.

Tharas' eyes widened and she clutched her hand to her mouth as she gasped. There was a flash of anger in Hilabs' eyes as he spoke but it was quickly gone. Ben still noticed, and made a mental note to keep his eye on Hilab. The older boy was hard to read and he did not seem as easily deceived as the others had been.

"But..but he will be okay right? Is Joie taking good care of him?" Thara asked in a worried voice. Her eyes, wide with concern, made her look even younger than she already was. Ben felt a pang of guilt as he looked at her. She seemed so innocent to him.

Ben gave a tiny smile, "He will be okay. Joie said that we can see him in the morning after he has had time to rest."

That seemed to cheer up Thara, but Hilab still had an unreadable expression on his face. Ben finally looked away and cleared his throat.

"Was anyone else hurt?" He asked, trying to appear to be a concerned student. He knew the answer of course, if anyone else had been hurt they would have been in the medical building with Joie. Everyone in the temple seemed healthy to him.

Thara shook her head. "No, everyone else is fine. But we were all worried about you and Cavan," she said with a slightly chastising tone.

"I'm sorry," Ben said a little uncertainly. He was not sorry in the slightest, but he thought it best to try and appease Thara. At least if he appeared sorry she might stop asking so many questions.

Behind them Hilab finally spoke. "You might as well come to eat. Tonight everyone is sleeping in the temple, even the cooking staff."

Ben glanced back at Hilab, as he was surprised that the other boy spoke. It was strange hearing his deep voice, it was not a voice that belonged to a teenager. It was a man's voice and he still found it unsettling that it belonged to someone not much older than he was.

Hilab didn't wait for an answer but walked slowly over to get his portion of the food. Thara shrugged and followed, and Ben followed because he was legitimately hungry again. The food was painfully simple. Just cold sandwiches and simple soups, of which there only seemed a few varieties. He noticed that the non-human students picked a bluish colored soup while the human ones choose an off white soup. He suspected it was simply the dietary requirements of each species so he followed suit and picked the same soup as his human compatriots.

The food was nondescript, but he ate so quickly he didn't have a chance to taste it. It was filling and his body needed it, which was all that he could ask from food. Thara laughed as she saw him devour his meal. Her own food was half finished and she let him have what she could not finish. Ben noticed that Hilab ate slowly and methodically and stared at nothing. Hilab did not try to talk with anyone and no one tried to talk with him. Apparently everyone was used to his non-communicative ways.

As he watched the dark skinned male he felt a prickling feeling along the back of his neck. He suspected that Hilab was deep in thought, and those thoughts pertained to him. Hilab might actually turn out to be an opponent greater than Cavan, but unlike Cavan Hilab did not seem to be so trusting. And there was no way he could take him head on. At least not yet. But in a few days that would not matter.


	18. Chapter 18

Ben had slept after the meal was over and excused himself from the others. He was tired, but he also wanted to get away from the congested hallways filled with people. He was lucky he had his own room. The younger students were doomed to sleep on cushioned mats in the hallway of the temple, but despite the minor discomfort they were all in ridiculously good spirits.

Thara had not wanted to leave his side, and had insisted that he take one of the extra mats and sleep outside with the rest of them. "It will be like camping indoors!" She said with the unnerving joy of a youth.

Ben had declined, saying that the quiet in his room would be better for him to heal, and with a slight pout she had agreed and he was finally safe behind the door of his own room. At least sleep offered him some time to himself and to think. The sounds outside the room took over an hour to finally subside. Even then he could hear the occasional giggle of young students staying awake longer than they were meant too, telling stories and jokes well into the night.

The next morning he awoke to the sound of many voices outside his room. Everyone was still in the temple, and he wondered if the fog might have come back. With some reluctance he pulled on clean clothes and went out into the hall. All of the students were still there, along with the cooks from the cafeteria serving a simple breakfast. He glanced down the hallway and saw that the doors were propped open letting in clean air and sunshine. The fog was well and truly gone, but it must have been easier to feed everyone here than set up the cafeteria. It didn't matter to him in the least, his stomach grumbled and he took a plate of the simple breakfast that they were serving. It was just some fruit and a kind of gruel that might have been porridge. It was rather tasteless but he ate it without complaint.

The meal was over in a few minutes and he hurried outside, leaving the dirty plate behind for someone to clean, desperate to get away from the crowd. And to avoid any conversation. As he leaped down the last few steps of the temple his eyes adjusted to the bright light, and he stopped suddenly taking in the scene before him. Everywhere he looked there was carnage.

Not the students of course, but the ground of the school was covered in all manner of dead creatures. There were dead bugs, reptiles, mammals, and other kinds of things that he was not able to guess as to what they were. Despite this there were many animals that were alive and well and making the most of the misfortune of their forest dwelling kin. Not ten yards away from him a squat and ugly looking reptile with thick green and purple scales darted out of the underbrush, gave Ben a scathing look, and began to eat up the dead insects that littered the ground with a long purple tongue.

Ben watched the creature to make sure it was not dangerous, it seemed to be a scavenger, and turned his attention elsewhere. Birds were diving out of the air, landing and eating the dead carrion or carrying it off in their beaks. Other unidentifiable wildlife seemed to be enjoying the dead bounty as well. The mist seemed to be deadly to many things, but the others must have evolved an immunity to the vicious miasma. It must be a natural life cycle on this planet. A semi-annual purge that killed off some to allow others to feed.

It made no difference to him, he did not begrudge these animals for taking advantage of their dead brethren. It was terribly efficient in a way. Nothing was going to be wasted. It did make walking a bit of a hazard. Despite walking as gingerly as possible he was constantly stepping on dead begs. The larger animals could be avoided but not the bugs. And every last one of them seemed to be filled with bright viscous goo that spurted enthusiastically over his shoes and pants. So much for clean clothes.

The only destination he had in mind was the medical building. He had promised Joie that he would come visit, and at this hour he should be the only one there. If he was very lucky Cavan would also be sedated and he could steal a few moments alone with Joie.

His hopes were dashed as soon as he opened the door to the medical building. There were voices, more than two actually, and he recognized them all. Cavan was awake and talking, which was the first bad news, the second was that he was talking enthusiastically to Thara and Hilab. _So much for getting up early_ he thought to himself. The whole room turned to look at him, Thara waved happily at him motioning for him to come closer. Cavan and Hilab also said some perfunctory greeting as he moved into the room, but as he watched their eyes he realized that they were not sincere.

Their eyes were guarded and their faces were a little to calm as they kept their emotions in check. It was laughably easy to spot. They were like bad actors trying to convince the audience, but he was not folled at all. He knew how to spot insincerity, he was a master at it himself. A prickling at the base of his neck gave him pause. It was a warning. _I will have to be careful from now on, something has changed, I should have killed Cavan while I could_ he thought with a stab of regret. At least Thara seemed oblivious to everything around her.

The one person he did not see was Joie. He looked around the room but she was nowhere to be seen. "Where is Joie?" He asked trying to sound nonchalant.

Cavan answered him, his eyes still guarded. "She left to the supply building, she ran out of some things and wanted to see if there were more."

Ben shrugged, "I was just curious, I thought I would say hello to her." He hoped that he sounded innocent in his reasoning.

"That's nice of you," Cavan said with his gaze never wavering, "I will tell her that you stopped by."

Ben felt the prickling again at the base of his neck. It was the force warning him of danger, he was not welcome here. He did not think he would be attacked but continuing to stay here would be…ill advised.

He forced a smile on his face as he shrugged. "I'm glad to see that you are doing so well," he didn't even bother trying to sound sincere. This charade would be over soon. And Cavan had already made up his mind about Ben. Not that he minded. All the terrible things he probably thought about him were true.

Cavan gave Ben a tiny bitter smile as he lightly massaged his wounded arm. "That's very kind of you to say." He practically spat the words out at Ben.

Thara was giving both of them quizzical looks, making her look like a confused puppy. Hilab was staring at nothing but Ben could guess what he was thinking. As soon as Cavan was well enough to move from that bed he knew they would have a confrontation.

"Well, I will see you later I guess," he said as he turned to leave the building. He could feel the gaze of the others burning into his back. The sensation didn't stop until he heard the door close securely behind him.


	19. Chapter 19

The only thing that Ben allowed to creep into his mind was his desire to see Joie. It was a blessing really, he was glad she was not in the medical building. At least he would not have to see her and be surrounded by his peers. At least at the supply building she might be alone.

The day was still pleasant, but it was becoming uncomfortably humid. Around him the carcasses of the dead animals were being quickly devoured by the carrion eaters that lived in the forest. A few older students were picking up and carting off the animals that were big enough to cause disorder if they were left to rot, and their bodies were dumped without ceremony into the bushes. He hoped that it would all be gone soon, the smell of rotting meat would be unpleasant.

He arrived at the supply building and saw that the doors were propped open, several small boxes were already stacked neatly by the entrance. As he got closer Joie emerged from the darkness of the building, carrying another small box that she stacked with the rest.

As she stood up and straightened her back she turned to look his way, he face breaking out into a wide smile. He found himself smiling back at her. She looked genuinely happy to see him.

"Ben! How are you this morning, I was afraid that I would miss you. But I needed to get more supplies from the storage shed." She explained gesturing to the boxes.

"It's alright, I think we have used up a lot of them recently," he said with a slightly apologetic air.

Joie waved away the semi-apology, "It's what it's there for. Only in a perfect galaxy would no one need medical attention."

Ben shrugged in agreement. He opened his mouth to offer to help carry the boxes back to the medical building, but he quickly shut his mouth again. Cavan was still there, along with Hilab and Thara. He didn't fancy seeing them again so soon. He knew he wouldn't be welcome around them anytime soon. For now he would have to be rude and let Joie handle herself.

He looked around and took in his surroundings. The cleanup was going slowly and he realized with a sinking feeling he would have to help. At least the physical activity would help keep his mind focused.

"I think I should, help them out now, I mean with the cleanup," he said lamely as he kept his distance from Joie.

Joie laughed and waved him off. "You should! Everyone is supposed to be helping anyway. I'm only exempt because Cavan still needs medical attention."

Ben looked glum at the prospect, his eyes downcast when suddenly a jolt like an electic current shot though his body and he looked upwards; his eyes fixed on something that he could not see.

Joie noticed his shudder and frowned in concern, "Are you okay?" She asked taking a step towards him.

Ben shook his head and met her gaze, giving her a halfhearted smile. "I'm fine, just not looking forward to cleaning up dead bugs and carcasses." It was only half true.

Joie nodded but didn't look convinced. "If you're sick it's okay to let me know, okay?" She said softly.

Ben turned away from her and strode in the opposite direction, talking over his shoulder. "I know that. I should just get to work that's all."

He could sense her concern even if he could not see her but he ignored her. He had felt a disturbance, a signal in the force, and he knew who was coming. His knights of Ren would soon be here, and he had to prepare.


End file.
